Once Upon a Time...

"And they lived happily ever after".

Even a five year old knows that's not really the end of the story- it's just the end of the part they're going to hear because it's bedtime.

It's the end of the part you're going to read in a book because the author is "written out" and things have pretty well come together at that spot.

In any life, in any family history in the making, Happily Ever After is actually just the end of a phase and the pause before another.

And so it is with us, as with everyone.

Our last decade or so was filled with things fabulously wonderful and hideously awful, but I marked the end of an era for us when we built and moved into this house that's been so elusive for so many years, got yet another "all clear" for Ward's scans, and came home to a house still standing- I'd pushed so hard to get it built and get us moved, then worried about the scans with an "other shoe" paranoia.

We came home, entered our new house and I clung to my cancer-free husband and melted into an armload of tears.

"And they lived happily ever after".

Of course we did.

It's still life, and there are still daily frustrations and money constraints- I don't know if we'd know what to do if we ever had money at the end of the month instead of miles of month without money. Things that were supposed to work out easier after this move haven't, but that's life. It's the way things go. Everyone's life is that way.

That's why it's so important to have that moment (or moments) of validation each day- to keep from despair, to recharge the batteries, to stare full in the face of what's really important because a lot of the time that's the quiet un-assuming stuff and we're surrounded always by a constant bombardment of superfluous bullshit.

Some people pray.

Some people meditate.

Some people count to 10. Or a million.

I have a bridge.



The bridge crosses the creek and connects the house part of the land to the barn part of the land. It's the first thing that was officially built here when we started this life-altering project.

The bridge, to me- is magical.

Any bridge really is, if you think about it- a structure without feet, suspended in the air between two solids. Water below, air around and above.

Twice a day we feed the animals. Twice a day Ward and I cross the bridge and twice a day we cross back.

And that's when I have my "moment".

I stop mid-bridge and turn to Ward. Give him a quick 3 kisses and while hugging him ask "Hey, Gomez- guess what?" Obediently he asks in reply "What?"

I smile and say "We live here now".

Right there, right then, standing in mid-air with my Knight in Shining Armor is my affirmation- all the other stuff, the daily head-bangers and hair-pullers? Piffle.

We live here now. With each other.

Happily Ever After.