It's My Birthday and I'll Think If I Want To

I admit it. I'm one of those ridiculous people who LOVE birthdays.

I know, I know- when you grow up you're supposed to either not make a big deal out of them, or actively deny their existence, but I've never been able to do that.

It's not even the Birthday Pageantry- the cake and cards and whatnot that cause me to hover with happiness just above the ground all day.

To me it's a yearly day of reckoning, sort of like other people see New Year's Day- what did I accomplish/survive and how close am I to where I thought I wanted to be by this stage of my life and yes, maybe just a little about what flavor the cake will be...

So I revisited my birthday post from last year and WOW have things changed in a year-

-we're in our home that was only a barely-forming mirage-like reality last August, it's here and now instead of just out of reach, and every day I still can't believe it.

-Ward is great and getting better than great every day- every night I go to sleep next to him and every morning I wake up next to him and every second is a gift and a treasure.

Today was gloriously normal. Got up, did chores, cleaned the guinea pig house, took showers, got into the car...and it was dead.

Joe came over and jumped the battery off of his truck and we went directly to Walmart because they told me over the phone "If you can get it here we can put a battery in it for you". We made it to Walmart (at 2:30) and left it in line at the auto center.

And waited. (3:30)

And waited. (4:30)

Finally they looked at it and...they didn't have the right battery. (5:15)

So we gingerly and fingers-crossedly drove it to AutoZone where they installed the correct battery promptly and for free and we got to dinner at 6:30 instead of 6- actually pretty good.

Actually pretty normal...for us.

Good food- Pho Vietnamese restaurant- tiny family owned, delicious. Spring rolls and sweet roasted pork over vermicelli with a big glass of iced jasmine tea.

Better company- "adopted sons" Jason and Ben, excellent dinner companions and the closest to siblings that Alec has with Dave in Wisconsin, Erika in Virginia and Jordan?

We very much missed son Jordan, who's still in Dubai (some kids'll do anything to get out of a family dinner).

Alec rode with Jason and Ben leaving us old folks to drive ourselves to dessert- Marble Slab Creamery...cinnamon ice cream milk shake, mmmm....

Joe fed the critters so we didn't have to hurry home or face feeding by flashlight.

I am 52 years old today. I have the home I've been dreaming of since I was five, a family who loves me unwaveringly in spite of myself, employers who appreciate and respect me, and friends literally all over the world.

Today was filled with the things and the people of my life- mostly not grand, or fancy or even stuff anyone would willingly want to have and do in their own lives (4 wheelbarrows of guinea pig poo while the thermometer read 105 as one example) but this life is mine, and today was one of a blessedly long string of days where nothing alarming or outstanding or life-changing happened.

See?

Routine, calm, ordinary, small yet surmountable annoyances...normal.

Something I'm still not used to, but I'm trying really really hard.

Every day I endeavor to embrace Utterly Normal and someday I hope to be able to do it without feeling completely Skeptically Awkward about it.

Think I can do it?

Me neither.