photo by Sheri Dixon

Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Bounties, Babies and Bullsh*t

 Let's look at Texas' newest law on their books of ultimate morality- that flaming pile of turds that is SB8, or our brand shiny new abortion law.

It states that *all* abortions are illegal in Texas after the 6 week mark of pregnancy- no exceptions.

You may think, "Well, a month and a half in, a woman should be sure of if she wants to be a mother or not" but that's some first class moronic thinking. Six weeks pregnant is *two weeks* after a woman's period should have started. Unless you are a guy, you know that sometimes periods are late...sometimes up to two weeks late. Most pregnancy tests don't recommend taking them until "two weeks after your missed period" meaning women actually have a window of about 24 hours to decide what they are going to do, make arrangements, and go do it.

Bitch, I've seen guys waffle for *months* before buying a lawn mower over which brand and options they need. 

And just to be sure that women take this law for serious, Texas has added a literal bounty to the mix. Figuring that expecting the State to enforce this law would lead to immediate and messy court cases, the State of Texas, Home of the Wild West, has now deputized every single citizen and *asked them* to turn in anyone providing services that end in an abortion or even planning to render services that end in abortion. 

There are Texas men on Reddit right now, discussing how they can *on purpose* impregnate a woman just to collect that sweet sweet bounty cash.

To be clear, that bounty is not just for the doctors who do the abortion, but the person who gives that woman a ride to the clinic, the person who lends her money for the abortion (because contrary to conservative belief, abortion is NOT paid for with our tax dollars), even anyone she confides in who doesn't immediately lock her in a tower guarded by a dragon for the next 9 months. 

What's that bounty?


People who claim to be "pro-life" think that's a pretty reasonable price to save a tiny baby.


They don't give one good goddamn about tiny babies. 

Know why I know that?

Because there is not one thing in this law that holds the *men* accountable. Not one thing. News flash: women don't magically get pregnant all by themselves. 

Forget the heinous goddamn restrictions on a medical decision that belongs to the woman, her doctor, her god if she has one and her *long-term* partner if she has one.

Forget the fucking bounty. I thought we were supposed to be this great financial conservative genius of a state. Know how to prevent abortion?

Hold the *men* accountable. If you get a woman pregnant, *no matter what she decides to do*, you pay the amount it would take for her to be pregnant and give birth.

The *choice* is still hers, as it should be.

If the choice is to end the pregnancy for personal reasons, that's her decision, and the money goes to help her and other women with school, training, food, shelter, life through social programs normally paid for only by us taxpayers. If you didn't want to foot this bill, you should've thought about it and kept your pecker in your pants, mister.

If the choice is to give birth (and many times it's a financial decision whether or not to, because we live in a country that doesn't provide maternal leave or universal health care or all that mushy stuff), all expenses are paid for *and* the man gets to pay child support. If she wants you to be part of that child's life, that's up to her. 

To give you an idea of how much this is going to cost you, here you go-

$3,000 prenatal care

$500 for maternity clothes

$17,000 for a hospital birth

$3,000 assorted baby sundries

$7,500 for lost wages on the part of the woman

$31,000 total. Let's be charitable and call it an even 30 grand. Up front and payable in full on that magical 6 week date. Then, of course, there's the 18 years of child support to look forward to.

What's that?

That's an outrageous price to pay for a few minutes pleasure? That sort of thing would ruin your life forever? 


And here you were, ready to knock up chicks for $10,000 a pop...and ruining their lives forever by leaving them on the hook for all the above expenses, plus the lifetime disparity in income they are guaranteed.