photo by Sheri Dixon

Thursday, October 8, 2020

It's Almost Time to Vote. Are You Ready?

“I’m urging my supporters to go into the polls and watch very carefully because that's what has to happen. I am urging them to do it,” Trump said toward the end of the debate against Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee."

Well, isn't that special? I'm curious. Exactly *what* are they supposed to be watching for? Because people just go in, vote, and come out. Obviously, what he wants is for his batshit crazy cult members brave patriots to keep their Bald Eagle eyes peeled for...what? I'm afraid that it's going to be hella boring for the poor dears. So, I have a few things I may do, just so they can say they've done their master's bidding no matter how stupid or illegal it is patriotic duty:

* Especially if they are armed, bring a tape measure to be sure they are the legal 100 ft from the entrance to the polling place. Ask them to hold the end while you pull the rest to the door. They need to feel useful. 

* Bring some fun items from home. Go in, vote, and come back to your car and...change your hat, put on a wig, add a shirt or change your facemask. Do it a minimum of five times. Tell the poll workers inside you're just playing with your friends outside. Obviously don't try to vote again because that's against the law...just like the voter intimidation going on outside.

* If the stupid motherfuckers brave patriots don't appreciate your attempts to engage them in a friendly manner, throw some soup cans at them. If you are questioned, feign genuine sadness and say, "I just thought they looked so hungry out here" and then lob a few cans of Coke for good measure. To wash down the soup, of course. 

Ya'll. If the quote at the top of this page (on the heels of his verified 20,000+ lies he's told us) doesn't convince you that we need to kick this deranged asshole our current president to the curb, I just don't know what to think about you. 

Were you hit in the head with a can of soup?