photo by Sheri Dixon

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Joke Ain't Funny Anymore- Lets Move On

Yanno what chaps my hiney?

Well, ya...gettin' close and personal with Ward in the woods without benefit of a blanket does. But OTHER than that...

The Tea Party.

I woke up this morning to a news interview regarding the budget crisis and every other phrase from the mouths of the interviewer AND the interviewee was "tea party".

As in..."Your backers in the Tea Party" and "Will the Tea Party allow that?" and "From the messages we're getting from the Tea Party"...

What The Hell?

Last I checked, the Tea F&$King Party is NOT a recognized (as in official, organized, on-the-ticket) political party in this country. When we go to vote, our options are generally Republican, Democratic, Independent and occasionally Libertarian and Green.

That's it. No Disney Character Party even though Mickey's been a popular write-in for generations.

No Hannah Montana Party, no Christian Party, no Grateful Dead Party, and NO FREAKIN' TEA PARTY.

It all started when Michele "I AM looking at the camera- I see through my ears" Bachmann was given air time after the State of the Union speech. That gave it the illusion of cohesion and permanence and I dunno...something other than batshit crazy.

And all the people who LOVE it and JOIN it say "It's a grass roots thing- the little people gathering force to Take Back America".


A quick Google search finds (on page 1 of over 600,000 results) that there are 5, count them FIVE most vocal and professional-looking "THIS IS THE OFFICIAL TEA PARTY PAGE" pages.

Two of them ( and have 501K status as non-profit organizations.

Interestingly, the Tea Party Patriots openly claim (in Wikipedia) that they have a staff of 7, which is not a bad thing- every organization needs a staff, and if they are working full time, they SHOULD be paid. I get that. However, it states that their payroll is "around $50,000 per MONTH" (capital letters mine BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND IT).

I manage an animal emergency clinic for 19 area Veterinarians in an area servicing over 100,000 people. My monthly payroll including myself and 2 licensed Veterinarians is under $25,000 per month.

The seven employees of The Tea Party Patriots are hauling in over $7,000 each for over $85,000 per year. That's a shitload of grass roots.

Two more of the "only official" Tea Party pages ( and owned by basically "some guy", one of whom is in uniform.

The fifth one ( is under the umbrella of which is an unabashed conservative PAC. Political Action Committee. You know- people who want LESS government *snicker* but who are funded, fed and housed by big corporations.

But I digress.

My POINT, my REASON for frothing all over my keyboard this fine sunny morning is not that the Tea Party Movement isn't complete bullshit smoke and mirror manipulation of people by the very entities who are destroying America (although that's true enough).

My POINT is that the Tea Party is NOT a political party and should NOT be given the standing of one.

Seriously, otherwise why aren't we hearing "You know, AARP won't stand for it" regarding the proposed cuts in Social Security and "I don't think the NRA will allow that" whenever the issue of gun control comes up and "Hmmm...repealing the new health care law will institute death panels for tens of thousands of members of the American Cancer Association so we need to re-think this". All of them are 501 organizations- all non-profit. For damn sure, they all have more members individually than all the "official" official tea parties put together.

Here's the thing.

We need to do some re-arranging in how our money gets spent in this country- everyone and their dog knows that (HSUS- another 501 non-profit).

Why the hell is One Uber-vocal Uber-strident group of people- not EVEN an organization- so able to strong-arm and bully their way into the thought processes of elected supposedly educated officials???

How can one SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP (who is rabidly anti-special interest group)attempt to dictate an entire country and instead of being shushed and sent to the back of the room be given air-time and credibility??

If you think the answer is "Because the People have spoken and the politicians are quaking in their boots and are listening" I'm sorry.

If you think the answer is "Because the water in DC has been poisoned and everyone there is now mentally and morally defective which will be followed by them all turning into slime mold and oozing into the ground" that would be one (albeit imaginative and wishful)explanation.

If you think the answer is "Because the Grass Roots of the Tea Party are deep in the pockets of the very corporations it vows to cut off at the knees and like playing Chutes and Ladders with a three year old, they are giving the members the illusion of winning the game when they alone know that bedtime is quickly approaching and the house will be peaceful and quiet without the toddler in the way to mess stuff up anymore" you have a gift of kickass run-on sentences...and you win.

No. Wait. We all lose.

Dear politicians in Washington and media personnel everywhere-

All the Tea Party is managing to do is muck up the waters and hold up progress.

We know who their puppetmasters are and have seen the little man behind the curtain.

Seriously- their "leaders" are Sarah Palin, Rand Paul and Michele Bachmann? You all held a poll and picked the three most certifiably insane, ignorant (yet pliable) characters to sacrifice to their cause, didn't you? *COME ON- FESS UP*

Fine. It's hilarious. You got the most fearful and gullible of the Little People good. It's been like watching someone "fake throw" a frisbee for a labrador retriever- fun for everyone for a few minutes but now it's old and we're running out of time.

Now get them the hell out of the way and get to work.


The 99% of the American People Who Are NOT TEA PARTIERS


  1. really, no Grateful Dead Party??? Now that's a shame! I must say you are spot on with the t party. They frighten me, seriously frighten me. And while I may not be able to express how I feel you have done a fine job of doing so..yeah LM.

  2. I know, right? I would totally vote straight Grateful Dead ticket :)

  3. Oh man oh man I so HEAR you on this!

    And the real shame of it is (I mean, in addition to the shame of these ideas being called "mainstream" instead of "bat shit crazy") that the Tea Party "success" DOES show that regular old Americans are hungry for a genuine grass-roots change. So hungry that they are willing to be LIED TO in order to get it.

    Oh, sigh sigh sigh. Bristol Palin made a quarter of a million dollars last year lecturing on the importance of abstinance. If that doesn't say all...