photo by Sheri Dixon

Saturday, September 8, 2018

He Started it...But I'm Ending It

The mantis in the guinea pig barn is dead. That's a fact.

All has been peaceful in the guinea pig barn.

Day before yesterday, I needed something off of the screened porch, so I opened the door from the dining room and went out there. As I closed the door behind me, I noticed THE MANTIS ON THE DOORKNOB. I grabbed what I needed, and when the mantis flew up onto the door window, I ducked into the house.

Yesterday morning, I again needed something from the porch.

I looked carefully through the window, inspecting every surface in sight. No mantis.

I opened the door mantis on the knob. Before I went back into the house, I checked the entire surface of the door...nothing.

With a sigh of relief, I went into the house, closing the door behind me, glanced up and saw THE MANTIS ON THE INSIDE OF THE DOOR.

The little bastard had been on the porch-side of the door and when I opened the door, he'd SLID AROUND THE GAP WHERE THE HINGES ARE AND GAINED ENTRY TO MY HOME.

Mantis: "Heh, heh, heh. Now what are you gonna do, puny human?"

Me: *picks up fly swatter and terminates mantis*

This is War. No Prisoners.

PS- the wolf spiders in the bathroom have never done me this way. They're civilized bugs.

Asshole Mantids.

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