photo by Sheri Dixon

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Dear (Huge block of names and email addresses I've never heard of and one at the very tippy top who I think I recognize),

Thank you for caring about me so much that you have added me to your blindly-generated email list of people you consider your closest of friends.

Unfortunately, you don't know me well enough to understand that my political views and yours are wildly different. Wildly. Different.

Maybe you do know that and are just trying, tenderly and lovingly, to bring me around to the Right way of thinking (pun intended- although there's no emoticon or LOL after it to assure you understand that).

My views are such that I respect yours. I will not call you a small-minded, ignorant, dangerous puppet of the Machine. Please refrain from calling me or anyone who thinks like me a commie, socialist, America-hating abomination. (And if you do- please take note of the spelling of "abomination").

I believe in your right to your own beliefs- political or religious. Please do the same.

I believe that what I believe in is what's best for my own family and the direction I'd like to see America (a country I'm actually very fond of) travel in- both for our citizens, and for our place as a member of the planet- one of many members, also known as "countries" or "nations" who are all really actual places with their own to-be-respected beliefs and dreams, not just little islands of putty full of throngs of people breathlessly and eagerly waiting for the day when they can be just like US (again- pun in the capitalization intended).

But here's the thing.

While I respect your right to believe what you like, I must make one request.

Just one.

Before you forward anything- to me, or anyone else- take FIVE MINUTES and check to be sure that what you are forwarding is true. Don't assume it is because it's

"been around the globe 3 times- don't stop it now"
"comes from (fill in the name of any organization or group or government department)"
"as seen on TV or website"

Actually, now it may take seven or eight minutes to verify the truth of something, since people are getting wise to the fact that it's very easy to go to Snopes and find out if what's being forwarded is true, or a steaming pile of shit.

I received an email last week that had had the Snopes logo pasted at the top, with a link posted that had the word "snopes" in it.

The link did NOT go to Snopes but directly to a racially charged site. Lovely.
A direct trip and search to Snopes did show that the original tidbit was true, but the email had "cut and pasted from Snopes" and then totally corrupted what followed- not surprisingly in a way that lined it up with the hateful message in the racially charged website.

If what you send me (and 1,000 of your other closest friends) is true- and you verify that, I'll be happy to look at it.

If you are passing on hate-mongering, fear-inducing bullshit, I'm going to have to assume you are a small-minded, ignorant, dangerous puppet of the Machine.

Have a nice day, may the god of your choice bless you and keep you, be proud to be an American, and go kiss your kids and dogs.

(smiley face, hearts, flowers, thumbs up)



  1. Oh my! I LOVE this! Thank you, Sheri. (I followed a link from Facebook, in case you're wondering.)

  2. I love this too. I have in fact told all of my closest 1,000 friends and relatives who are guilty of being a puppets of the Machine basically this same thing in different words.

  3. love this! great job

    how about this old one - which is only related by its spammishness

    Hi, my name is Aloysius. Five years ago I had no money. People wanted
    me to pay for services that I had used, yet I had no funds to pay them

    Then an amazing thing happened! A friend of mine told me about a
    place where people get together for about 8 hours at a time. While
    together, these `employees’ provide services, build things, add value
    to things, and even manage the activities of others. All this is done in
    exchange for money, often paid at the completion of 40 hours of activity.

    My friend told me that if I joined him, the people at this place would
    give me money too! In time, they may even give me lots of money, and
    I mean a LOT of money. Just imagine my joy at being told of a system
    that would enable me to pay for all the things I want and need!

    I was so happy to learn of this system that I set out on a mission. There
    are too many people on the Internet who have not yet discovered this
    method of obtaining money. Instead, these misguided souls participate
    in schemes that promise thousands of dollars in exchange for an illegal
    five dollar investment.

    If you read any Usenet newsgroup on a regular basis, you know the
    people I mean. They post messages such as: “Big Money NOW”,
    “Fast Cash NOW” and “Get out of Debt and into Jail, NOW!”

    These unfortunates must hear this message of great joy and good fortune:

    I invite you to join me in this quest. How? Simple!
    Whenever someone posts an illegal get-rich-quick-scheme to your favorite
    newsgroup, simply E-mail this letter back to them. An additional step may
    be required to deliver the good news to people who post these messages
    under phony e-mail addresses. For them, a hard copy of this letter to
    their postal address may be required. (They always include a postal
    address because that’s where they want you to send the BIG MONEY)

    It has also been suggested to me that people may wish to send this letter
    to the Sysop or Postmaster of the letter writer’s Internet Service
    Provider. I think this is a great idea, and I fully encourage further
    suggestions for improving the delivery of this good news!

    You have my permission to copy this letter. Feel free to add your name
    to mine and those listed here, (when and if people decide to add their
    names to this letter), or remain anonymous and send it as is.

  4. I so hate it when things have crappy line breaks