photo by Sheri Dixon

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Texas- Red...With Embarrassment

I woke up this morning to the Dallas news station blaring about the 'huge Tea Party victory' here in Texas yesterday.

Of course they also pointed out that Texas was virtually the only state that had a Tea Party victory, so at least the rest of the country seems to be getting over their childish infatuation with The Drunk Uncle of the political spectrum.

Everyone has one of those. When you're a kid, you love Drunk Uncle because he acts just like you...only he's big. When you're a teenager, you are skeptical of all adults, but still sorta dig Drunk Uncle because he makes all the other adults so damn uncomfortable. Once you're grown? If he weren't related to you, he wouldn't be at your dinner table, near your family or on your property.

You know...This guy-

Ain't no amount of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls gonna make that dinner better. Anyhoo.

Yanno what the newspeople didn't mention this morning?

How disgustingly dismal the voter turn out was. Less than 5% of registered Texas voters showed up to vote.

Yanno why that's not news? Because unless it's a presidential election, less than 5% of Texas voters always show up. That's because for all its snort N blow about Texas being so great, so wonderful, Number One in everything all the time everywhere, Texas ranks dead last in voter turnout. Last. Out of all the states. Last.


So the only people who even cared enough to show up yesterday were those who
a) give a crap about elections and why they're important
b) the Lunatic Fringe.

Now, I need to do some Tex-splaining here. Because groups a and b above are totally different here in Texas than the rest of the world lately...for say the last two decades. That's the amount of time we've been officially insane here, ya'll.

In modern day Texas, group a consists of Tea Party fanatics. While middle of the road conservatives didn't show up yesterday... because remember- unless it's a presidential election, they don't show up- the Tea Party was out in force. Flexing their muscles, ya'll. Takin' a break from parading around Sonic and Chili's with their AR's slung across their patriotic backs and slapping up against their patriotic fannies in an ammo-erotic display, they braved going somewhere unarmed to go vote. What a sacrifice. Those brave, brave dears.

Group b is, of course, Democrats, other assorted liberals, commies and middle of the road conservatives (aka RINO's).

And here's the other thing that did not get mentioned on this morning's news.

We had a little run-off between David Alameel and Kesha Rogers. Both running as Democrats; a Lebanese male dentist and a black female who touts a meager background and young life as a political activist. So on the face of it, if you aren't paying very much attention to what they're saying, the tendency would be to vote Kesha.

Here's the thing- and it's a very heartening thing if you are a Texas non-Republican.

She lost. She lost big because Texas non-Republicans are paying attention and were sufficiently (and correctly) alarmed at her actual words coming out of her actual mouth. See, she's a Lyndon LaRouche Democrat and has paraded around with posters showing Obama with the little Hitler mustache that the Tea Party loves calling for his impeachment.

Now, ya'll know I'm not in love with everything Obama has done or is doing. In fact, I flat despise a good number of his policies and appointments. But I'm not going to parade around comparing him to Hitler. Because, he's not- and only deluded alarmists think he is. You know...the Tea Party, KKK, Fundamental Right, NRA - all those folks. That's who Kesha is aligned with.

So there are two very good results about yesterday's run offs.

1) Non-Republicans here in Texas are paying attention and can get out the word and get out the vote when push comes to shove.

2) The Tea Party had a wonderful victory.

Why is #2 a good thing?

Because come November, Texas moderate conservatives will arrive at the polls and be faced with either voting for a batshit crazy guy in their camp at both the governor and lt. governor levels...or Wendy and Letitia.

I'm guessing they'll either be too horrified to vote, or hold their noses and vote D.

Either way...Texas wins.

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