Perky Breasts Are Over-Rated

And I'm not just saying that in a fit of sour grapes since mine are over half a century old and gravity is not their friend.

Honestly, I don't remember my breasts ever BEING perky. When of that vintage I didn't do a whole lot of thinking about them at all except as sorta getting in the way. Not that they were formidable obstacles- when I was young and before children they were nondescript 32A's, blossoming to 34B's after giving birth. I'm really not sure where they are now (in relation to official size, I KNOW they're still attached to me, ya big goofballs).

The whole "bra thing" has been lost on me. I flat cannot get into the entire idea of 'em (pun intended). When I was young, I really didn't need one. Once I was old and felt it was socially demanded of me, I couldn't find one that fit or didn't make me feel like I was being smothercated or held across my mid-section in the jaws of some invisible dinosaur.

So for 99% of my life, I've dealt with it the way any normal sane person does- I've ignored it. I've gotten by with sports bras and fitted cami's and otherwise alternative forms of "ways to keep you from jiggling too much and to keep yer nipples from showing thru yer t-shirt".

Has this lack of "support" caused my boobs to sink lower/faster that the average gal's? I don't know. I know they point downwards when unencumbered, but so does most of my half-century+ anatomy.

Here's what else I know.

I know that even though I never nursed a baby (I'm in a tiny percent of women who produce enough milk to feed entire communities but the make-up of said milk doesn't have the nutrition to sustain a hamster. I naturally make ultra skim milk, something babies do NOT need. TMI?)that my 3 babies nestled, snuggled, were rocked to sleep right there.

I know that my 3 children cried themselves to sleep when sick, or hurt, or otherwise jostled by Life using them as pillows- pillows they could hear the beating of my heart through- assurance that they have roots and continuity, safety and security.

I know that when Ward was crazy with delirium caused by the hospital staff, when he didn't know who I was and was seeing UFO's outside the window and bugs on the wall and worms on the pages of his book, when he had to be restrained to the bed so he wouldn't hurt himself or others- I KNOW that the one thing that calmed him and let him rest for even a few hours was when I crawled into bed with him (against the wishes of the staff because he WAS so belligerent and aggressive)and snuggled up against him like we do every night at home. He stopped twitching and fighting. His arm (IV and restraint and all) came around me and he cupped my breast in his hand. He sighed deeply and fell asleep.

"The Girls" may not be perky, they may not stop traffic, but I wouldn't trade them for all the silicone in the world.