photo by Sheri Dixon

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

When Just Being Thicker Than Water is No Damn Good At All

"Blood is thicker than water".

I never did know what the hell that was supposed to mean. I mean, first of all- duh.
Second of all, so what?

I've found that in a pinch, when push comes to shove, when your back's against the wall and when the shit hits the fan, merely being "thicker than water" doesn't cut the mustard. You need a rope, good and strong.

And in actual practice, most of those that could be defined as "thicker than water" have been about as useful as tits on a bull.

My folks have helped us out as they could- so they're excluded.

Ward's mom was an angel.

But by and large, when we've really needed help- and unfortunately that's been a frequent event- it's been our friends who've rushed forward to catch us, to hold us, to steady us and keep us from going over the edge.

So years ago, we stopped depending on our blood relatives, and started forming our "real" families of people we knew would be there for us.

That's not unusual. Alot of people do that. What is unusual, is that instead of banding together with others just like us, our "real" family is an amazing combobulation of religions, genders, nationalities, races, orientations, ages, and political scope. I credit the interwebs with allowing us to meet such a glorious lot, although my innate oddness would've ensured that our manufactured immediate family would not resemble our neighbors' at all.

Right now, my husband and his wife and son are in the most distress we've ever been in. He's in ICU at a huge cancer hospital and on a ventilator- not breathing on his own and in possible congestive heart failure.

Our home and farm are being cared for indefinitely by a huge bear of a man from Montana who's moved into our home and family- we've turned him into an old chicken herding hippie, and he's Friend to Ward, Uncle to Alec, and he has me packing a purse pistol named Thelma.

The friend our son thinks of as his brother drove down for the weekend and took Alec to NASA and a grand tour of the seedier parts of Houston.

My friend of over 30 years who lives in the Dallas area drove down after church to spend Sunday afternoon and evening with Alec.

Our friends who live in Houston are there always- on call- to take any or all of us out for distraction or into their home for comfort.

My home school moms are coming here tomorrow to be here for us.

Alec has had offers literally from around the country by people who want to take him into their homes- protect him, love him, support him while I deal with the mundane horrors of the cancer hospital.

Alec, Ward and I have faced 8 years of this mess together and together we'll face this go-round. Together. We're not leaving here without my husband and Alec's daddy.

People call me and email me and message me from around the world. We're being prayed for, candles lit, energies and jujus sent, and all gods and spirits called for strength for my family.

Friends we've met, hugged in real life, and those we haven't, from sea to shining sea, both new and one I've known for 35 years are there at the touch of a mouse, or the tapping out of a phone number.

We feel the love as a shawl around our shoulders- warm and sheltering.

Our friends ARE our Family- better than some sticky ooze that's claim to fame is being "thicker than water", our friends are our rope- and we cling tightly to them while being beaten down by the storms of illness. Over and over and over again.

They are stalwart. And true. And without them we'd have drowned long ago.

1 comment:

  1. So glad. :-) But, and I think I speak for all the Christian Sisterchicks, "Run to the rock that is higher than I."

    Confidence in God's Protection
    To the chief Musician upon Neg'inah, A Psalm of David.

    1 Hear my cry, O God;
    attend unto my prayer.

    2 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee,
    when my heart is overwhelmed.
    Lead me to the rock that is higher than I;

    3 for thou hast been a shelter for me,
    and a strong tower from the enemy.

    4 I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever:
    I will trust in the covert of thy wings.

    5 For thou, O God, hast heard my vows:
    thou hast given me the heritage of those that fear thy name.

    6 Thou wilt prolong the king's life:
    and his years as many generations.

    7 He shall abide before God for ever:
    O prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him.

    8 So will I sing praise unto thy name for ever,
    that I may daily perform my vows.