photo

photo
photo by Sheri Dixon

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Snakeoil Anyone?

OK. OK OK. Just ONE MORE post about the conference last weekend and then I PROMISE I'm done...

So I attended a session called Energy Sensitive Beings, because I had some very serious questions to ask. It was run by two people- one the obvious leader and one...not.

After just a few minutes, I was aware (as an Energy Sensitive Being) that the leader was more Showman than Shaman. Anyone who says he can be Anything and Everything Anyone and Everyone needs at any given time is...suspect. I actually expected him to break into song any minute, or at the very least for an organ to drop down from the clouds accompanied by a winged choir.

I was in a room full of adults- and they were all mesmerized by this man. I mean, really grown up adults- I was NOT the elder in the room by a long shot, and I know I should've just up and left, but it was like a car wreck- you've just gotta watch- you don't WANT to watch, but you just. can't. turn. away.

Two examples-

His girlfriend was looking to find something to do for her life's work- and by selective discussion, errrr....Using the Flow of Energy, they were able to figure out that she'd like to be a massage therapist.

So she was all excited (which is GOOD- you SHOULD have a passion for what you're going to do in life) and started ticking off things she needed to do from there- find a massage school, see about licensing and equipment...but he told her "NO- you want to BE a massage therapist- you ARE a massage therapist. You have the knowledge within you to do this". So she hung out her shingle and has a growing herd of clients.

Ummm....NO. Not just no, but HELL NO.

She has no idea of the workings of the human body and muscles and she's really gonna HURT someone. Stuff like that has to be LEARNED, I don't care how much Flow is running through your body.

And in speaking of the Power of the Energy, he related how he'd been leaving his house to come to the conference- his PHYSICAL body was headed for the car, but his ENERGY stopped him in his tracks- wouldn't let him continue to the car. So he listened to his Spirit and realized he'd left his computer in the house.

*The entire room gasped in wonder.*

Except for me- all I could hear was Stan from Southpark's voice- "Dude. You stopped to think if you forgot anything and you're calling it Magical Energy? Weak".

And I must confess to hearing that old Saturday Night Live character during his spiel about being everything for everyone all the time- the voice in my head kept saying "GET to know me!"

Anyhow- the other guy was different.

Different in that he clearly is uncomfortable with whatever Energy flows through him- he made no claims, no promises, no sales pitches. He related things that had happened to him, do happen to him, that defy how "normal people" think and see, and I thought- THIS one is the Real Deal.

After the session, after all the adoring women had made arrangements for "private consultations" with the leader (conveniently held in his HOTEL ROOM) for the special conference rate of about a Ben Franklin each, I asked him my question, which had to do with Alec.

The smile froze on his lips, because it was more than "What do I do with my life?" or "How do I access the Energy of the Universe to my benefit?" This was a real, specific, serious question, and he was clearly flummoxed. I saved him by adding "And I'd like to talk to HIM", pointing at the other man. He said "Oh, of course- that'd be best", then tried to talk to me about the Sliding Scale of Payment. I told him we have NOTHING left after all our medical problems and this conference was REALLY expensive and the other guy (who'd been studying my face very intently while I'd been relaying my concerns/fears) said quickly "I'll talk to you- no charge".

They had to go lead another session but I was told to call the leader's cell phone the next day to set something up. I did, and he never called back.

Not surprised. I suspect the other guy was never even told I'd called.

The best moment of the conference for me was as we were walking past a session room and the leader spied us and came almost leaping out of the room.

He said "I was in there and I suddenly FELT that you wanted to talk to me".

I said "Ummmm....no- we were just going to the dining room", and after introducing Ward and Alec to him we just kept on walking.

Score One for the Practical Hippiechick.

3 comments:

  1. Hilarious...A buddy and I were sitting at the counter of a hip veggie/coffee bar in Santa Fe discussing 'life'. A fellow who was standing nearby butted in...he couldn't help but overhear and as a 'part time shaman' he wished to agree with something we said. 'Part time shaman'? And part time what, CPA? Lawyer?

    I told him that my favourite philosopher once said, "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam..."

    My friend later wrote and recorded a great song called, "I wanna be a wanna be"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for stopping by my site. I was trying out some satire there. Thanks for being nice to me. I wish I had caught up with you sooner. I'm subscribing to you through Google Reader now. You're a good writer, and I like what you're interested in.

    If you would like to know of a good Energy Healer type, you might look at theamericanmonk.com. I don't advertise for him. He's just a friend. He sells a program on CD that's kinda pricey. I bought it. It's good, but I only use about half of it. On the other hand he started a video blog last year. It's completely free. He posts every Friday. You can check out his archives for the past year and see whether it works for you. Great to meet you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks! I'm looking forward to checking out your friend's site.
    the guy at this conference was just so...icky. I'm a big time hugger- I hug EVERYONE and this guy tried hugging me and I just recoiled. *shudder*

    ReplyDelete

There was an error in this gadget