The turkey's been picked over, the pies decimated, the side dishes are serving second duty as full lunches of themselves, and now I have a few minutes to give thanks...in my commie pinko socialist treehuggin' way.
I am thankful that Obama has finally managed to turn this nation into a cesspool of communistic socialism. The proof can be read by the crash of Wall St., the failure of the big banks and the loosened hold of the weakened and gutted power of the corporations.
Oh, wait. Wall St. has never been happier or had numbers quite so big, the big banks are bigger than ever with less regulation than ever and took home huge bonuses after taking home lots and lots of taxpayer dollars so they wouldn't fail, and corporations are still considered 'people'. Don't give me that, "Corporations ARE people, my friend" bullshit- corporations are man-made constructs set in place for one reason- to make money. Their existence remains no matter who is in charge: people die, my friend- corporations don't.
I am thankful that our blessed Muslim Kenyan leader has finally managed to enact a complete and total government takeover of the nation's healthcare and school systems. الحمد الله (That's "Praise Allah!" for you 'Old American' losers).
Oh, wait. The ACA (also known lovingly as Obamacare by those who spit after saying it- I'm sure the sweetness of the word just is too much for their delicate tastebuds)is not anything remotely resembling Universal Health Care, which would have been one health care program for all Americans no matter if they could afford it or not. The ACA isn't a health care program at all- it's a warehousing of private for-profit policies that people can choose from- before this you needed an insurance agent to do that. So the healthcare.gov website is really just a guy in a bad suit and gel in his hair. What the ACA does do is make it illegal for the for-profits to do things like deny coverage for pre-existing conditions and offer insurance policies that are dirt cheap and useless as tits on a boar hog. In order to do that, they did something that they borrowed from the insurance companies themselves-
See, the reason big companies like Blue Cross and Aetna can get away with paying hospitals $9,995 for something like a heart bypass surgery while people without insurance have to pay $250,000 is that they went to the hospitals and said, "Look- we're giving you VOLUME so you're going to cut us a deal". The ACA gives the insurance companies volume- a large amount of healthy people to help defray the cost of actually paying for the sick people who need health insurance. It's already working, and would be working a hell of a lot better if the states with Republican governors had actually accepted the free Medicaid expansion that includes all the people not poor enough for Medicaid now, and not rich enough to actually pay full price for a good policy that actually does shit. In Texas that's over a million people Rick Perry is fucking over 'on principle'.
And the schools? From what I've been reading, all this 'common core' hoo ha is trumped up bullshit. I know- shocking, right? Because far from a 'gubment takeover' of the school system, the standards give the desired outcome- what a student should know at each level- and give the states and even school districts (right down to the teachers themselves) full leeway on how to teach it- including what books to read and use as texts. It stresses 'teaching critical thinking skills' though, so I can see where that would be a very real threat to today's conservative
Well, at least I can be thankful that Literally Hitler Barry Sotero has been able to completely disarm American citizens!
Oh, wait. In spite of the worst mass shootings in our history, in spite of a clear and very vocal majority of Americans wanting stricter gun purchasing and owning regulations (91%...including a majority of NRA members- no shit), the big scary government has done jack fucking shit about it. Jack. Fucking. Shit. But that doesn't stop the NRA and gun manufacturers from whipping their hapless, clueless followers into a frenzy every few months or so. Seriously, dudes- even a mentally challenged dog stops falling for the 'fake frisbee throw' after a while. We're going on six years of OH MY GAWD OBAMA'S COMING FOR OUR GUNS BUY UP ALL THE AMMO whenever the gun manufacturers want some extra dough and a good laugh at your expense (literally).
Hmmm...so I guess what it boils down to is that our president is actually the Worst Kenyan Muslim Commie Socialist Pinko Treehugging Dictator Hitler Ever.
Sigh. That's OK. I've still got almost a month of "THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS" and "JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON" ahead of me. There is clearly not enough rum in my nog.