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photo by Sheri Dixon

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Day One

So I'm here in Denton on the day after the inauguration. I'm going to the Women's Rally on the Square at noon, along with my beloved Sisterchicks here...and my son, who will be going with all HIS friends, male or female. And hopefully a few thousand others. Gomez volunteered to stay home to take care of the farm so I could come do this, something that gains him even extra points because I know damn well he would've liked to participate as well.

I was a little bit nauseated yesterday, a malady that I'm pretty sure didn't evolve into full-on puking only because I refused to watch the "festivities" in DC. It was more interesting to hear it from other people's eyes.

Conservatives said it was the best thing since angels declared the coming of Jesus to shepherds in the night and DC was filled to the brim with REAL Americans hollering their allegiance to their new savior. This isn't a stretch- a lot of these folks claim that Donald J. Trump- serial philanderer, ethics-free businessman and all around bigot, racist and misogynist...is God's way of "Taking Back America". I always knew their version of God was a vengeful, hateful prick, but COME ON. In and around all that pompous circumstance, we were told, again, that we need to "all come together" and "give him a chance". Sorry. I can't come together with racism, nationalism, isolationism, oligarchy, police states and dealing lethal financial and legal blows to people and things that can't fight back. I'm funny that way.

Liberals said his inauguration speech(as the London Times said) "painted a grim picture of an America only he can rebuild". So he apparently took his base- who voted for him out of fear anyway, and reiterated that their fear is warranted, their hatred and suspicion of anyone not "exactly like themselves" is sensible and logical and that this nation is SO BAD, SO FAR GONE, that the only one- out of all of us Americans in high and low places and with education and compassion and intelligence and an abiding LOVE for OUR nation---only HE can fix it. Well, isn't that special? Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship can tell you that's how they keep you there. Your fear and dislike of the abuser is overshadowed by the fear of what will happen to you if you leave- how much WORSE it is "out there" and how other people will treat you WORSE because "only I know what you need and only I REALLY love you". And there were like 5 Bikers for Trump who showed up, looking like a pitiful wall of meat. I guess a wall of Vienna Sausages? And the parade was sparsely-attended. And they are using stock photos of OTHER inaugurations to make it look like DC was brim-full of patriots!

Yes, Melania looked lovely. I have nothing against Melania Trump. Barron looked miserable and it was noted that no one- no one in the Trump family, reached out to take his hand or put a hand on his shoulder. I didn't see it, remember. But if that's true, it's very sad. I heard a bit of the announcing and it's apparent that the guy was an MMA announcer. How fucking classy. My son said that the official photo shoot at the Lincoln Memorial- all in black and white and surrounded by military holding flags, was quite reminiscent of official dictatorship photos...

The protests. Here's my take. And the take from people who I know and who were there. It was worse than hoped for but better than being shown. Lots of stock footage of other protest violence in other places, like there usually are when it's expedient for the masses to hate people who are fighting for THEM. My answer to a conservative who sneered, "Yes- we hated Obama and protested and carried signs...but we never DESTROYED anything" was to say, "Hey- I can't help it liberals are better at EVERYTHING than ya'll are." She said, "Wait. That was almost funny..." Was it right for people to set a limo on fire? Nope. Wasn't right for the police to pepper spray (hose-like) an old lady AND a little kid, either. And don't say, "Well, they shouldn't have been there!" because fuck that. This is America, remember?

I was hoping beyond hope that during the final handshakes, Joe Biden would kidney-punch Trump and just keep walking.

OK. I am now duty-bound to go read the transcript. I cannot see that face or hear that voice without retching, and I will read it in his voice ANYWAY, but I have coffee and hopefully will not vomit. Be right back...

(Interlude of "Muskrat Love" elevator music)

What the hell. I'ma just copy/paste it here and let you know what I think about it as I read it.

"Chief Justice Roberts, President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans and people of the world, thank you.
We, the citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild our country and restore its promise for all of our people.
Together, we will determine the course of America and the world for many, many years to come. We will face challenges. We will confront hardships. But we will get the job done.

Well, that just reinforces the Right's claim that "Obama did nothing and tried his best to destroy America right there.

Every four years we gather on these steps to carry out the orderly and peaceful transfer of power.
And we are grateful to President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama for their gracious aid throughout this transition.
They have been magnificent.
Thank you.

I had an employee once. Briefly. Every time I would ask him to do something he would say, "Yes, Ma'am." But the tone of his voice told me he was really thinking "fuck you". That's how this "Thank you" to Obama sounds, especially after the opening statement. He's literally DISMISSING the former president of the United States.

Today's ceremony, however, has a very special meaning because today we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another or from one party to another, but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C., and giving it back to you, the people.
For too long, a small group in our nation's capital has reaped the rewards of government while the people have bore the cost. Washington flourished, but the people did not share in its wealth. Politicians prospered but the jobs left and the factories closed.
The establishment protected itself, but not the citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories. Their triumphs have not been your triumphs. And while they celebrated in our nation's capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land.
That all changes starting right here and right now, because this moment is your moment.
It belongs to you.
It belongs to everyone gathered here today and everyone watching all across America.
This is your day.
This is your celebration.
And this, the United States of America, is your country.
What truly matters is not which party controls our government, but whether our government is controlled by the people.
January 20th, 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again.

What the literal fuck. Sure the pols in DC got rich. Yanno why? Because people like Donald J Trump PAY THEM to pass laws that only protect the RICH- the pols don't get tax breaks and decide to move business out of the country- the CORPORATE OWNER RAT BASTARD WEASELS DO.

The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer. Everyone is listening to you now. You came by the tens of millions to become part of a historic movement, the likes of which the world has never seen before.
At the center of this movement is a crucial conviction that a nation exists to serve its citizens. Americans want great schools for their children, safe neighborhoods for their families and good jobs for themselves.
These are just and reasonable demands of righteous people and a righteous public.

...and people like YOU, sir, are why we don't have that. Also, that little detail about how you lost the popular vote by 3 million and only half of registered voters bothered to get off their asses and vote. You won because the electoral college put you up there, and more of the electors went rogue AGAINST YOU than in any other time in history. Never forget that.

But for too many of our citizens, a different reality exists.
Mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities, rusted out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation.
An education system flush with cash but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of all knowledge.
And the crime and the gangs and the drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential.

BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU CLUELESS, SMUG BASTARD

This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.
We are one nation, and their pain is our pain.
Their dreams are our dreams, and their success will be our success. We share one heart, one home and one glorious destiny.
The oath of office I take today is an oath of allegiance to all Americans.

Yes. Of course. Say what you need to to keep the children quiet and pliant while you molest the crap out of them. Say the pretty words and they will believe it even tho historically it's YOU who have caused the most pain and damage.

For many decades we've enriched foreign industry at the expense of American industry, subsidized the armies of other countries while allowing for the very sad depletion of our military.
We've defended other nations' borders while refusing to defend our own. And we've spent trillions and trillions of dollars overseas while America's infrastructure has fallen into disrepair and decay.
We've made other countries rich while the wealth, strength and confidence of our country has dissipated over the horizon.
One by one, the factories shuttered and left our shores with not even a thought about the millions and millions of American workers that were left behind.
The wealth of our middle class has been ripped from their homes and then redistributed all across the world. But that is the past, and now we are looking only to the future.

Yes. The military contractors like Cheney and the rich assholes like yourself who do "business" overseas have gotten very wealthy. You really think we believe you will do anything about that? You've promised to throw MORE money at the military. "American workers left behind"? YOU BUILD YOUR SHITTY CRAP OVERSEAS AND HAVE NOT MADE ONE MOVE TO BRING ANY OF THOSE JOBS HOME. YOU BANK OVERSEAS. WHAT THE FUCK?

We assembled here today are issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital and in every hall of power. From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land.
From this day forward, it's going to be only America first, America first. Every decision on trade, on taxes, on immigration, on foreign affairs will be made to benefit American workers and American families. We must protect our borders from the ravages of other countries making our product, stealing our companies and destroying our jobs.
Protection will lead to great prosperity and strength. I will fight for you with every breath in my body, and I will never ever let you down.
America will start winning again, winning like never before.

Protectionism, isolationism, nationalism. That's how abusers get you. Make you believe that they are only thinking of YOUR well-being and ISOLATE you from other people and ideas. Isolation is the main tool of the abuser. The main tool.

We will bring back our jobs. Great. You closing your factories in "Jina" and Mexico?

We will bring back our borders. Where did they go? What a ridiculous thing to say.

We will bring back our wealth, and we will bring back our dreams. So you're going to bank here again, too? OUTSTANDING

We will build new roads and highways and bridges and airports and tunnels and railways all across our wonderful nation. ...after getting rid of any minimum wage at all, right? So we can afford to do that if we are paying people $2.00 an hour.

We will get our people off of welfare and back to work, rebuilding our country with American hands and American labor. ...by getting rid of social safety nets. I guess that's one way to do it.

We will follow two simple rules: Buy American and hire American. You first, asshole.

We will seek friendship and goodwill with the nations of the world, but we do so with the understanding that it is the right of all nations to put their own interests first. Ah, yes. Friends with benefits but no real commitment.

We do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example.
We will shine for everyone to follow. You realize not everyone wants to BE American, right? Because other places are also pretty great. What an ignorant, boorish thing to say. "We will be a GREAT example for the rest of this shithole of a planet!"

We will re-enforce old alliances and form new ones and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate completely from the face of the earth. How? Your very attitude towards 'those brown people' and vow to (continue and escalate) bombing the shit out of them MAKE MORE TERRORISTS, YOU STUPID PRICK.

At the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United States of America, and through our loyalty to our country we will rediscover our loyalty to each other.
When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice. Your version of "patriotism" is what BREEDS prejudice.

The Bible tells us how good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity. We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity. When America is united, America is totally unstoppable. There should be no fear. We are protected and we will always be protected. We will be protected by the great men and women of our military and law enforcement. And most importantly, we will be protected by God. OH, BROTHER. Has this guy even read the Constitution? WE ARE NOT A THEOCRACY. I'll bet this got the biggest cheer from the assembled masses, tho...ESPECIALLY his "prayer warriors"

Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger. Wait. He missed a chance to say BIGLY? In America, we understand that a nation is only living as long as it is striving. We will no longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action, constantly complaining but never doing anything about it.
The time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action. Ummm...the only way to get things done quickly are illegal as hell. Our nation has a set of rules to govern by that are on purpose convoluted and lengthy. It is frustrating but prevents a DICTATORSHIP from forming. I hope it holds up to this because this is the biggest wall of bullshit and razzle dazzle that has ever come up against it.

Do not allow anyone to tell you that it cannot be done. No challenge can match the heart and fight and spirit of America. We will not fail. Our country will thrive and prosper again. You just told us how crappy and awful it is. YOU'RE the one who's been telling us it's totally fucked for over a year now. So yes. We WILL thrive and prosper again. As soon as we get your ass OUT of there.

We stand at the birth of a new millennium, ready to unlock the mysteries of space, to free the earth from the miseries of disease, and to harness the energies, industries and technologies of tomorrow. What? We're 17 years into the new millennium and you sound like a cross between George Jetson and a snake oil salesmen.

A new national pride will stir ourselves, lift our sights and heal our divisions. Oooh oooh oooh- did he pass out brown shirts at this juncture? It's time to remember that old wisdom our soldiers will never forget, that whether we are black or brown or white, we all bleed the same red blood of patriots. Unless you're a chick soldier. Then you're just a distraction and asking to be raped, like you've said in the past.

We all enjoy the same glorious freedoms and we all salute the same great American flag. ...unless you're gay, or a minority, or female, or an atheist or a liberal, right? I mean...let's not get all CRAZY here. And the flag is a symbol, not what we worship or fight for. Our soliders are fighting for America, not the cloth symbol of it. Because that would be idolatry, and your God sort of frowns on that.

And whether a child is born in the urban sprawl of Detroit or the windswept plains of Nebraska, they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams and they are infused with the breath of life by the same almighty creator. And if they are born rich, they don't have to worry about shit, right? When their daddy gives them a "small gift" of a million dollars at their high school graduation...you forgot to mention those kids. You literally have no fucking idea of how 99% of the kids in this nation live, do you?

So to all Americans in every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, from ocean to ocean, hear these words: You will never be ignored again. Your voice, your hopes and your dreams will define our American destiny. And your courage and goodness and love will forever guide us along the way.
Together we will make America strong again, we will make America wealthy again, we will make America proud again, we will make America safe again.
And, yes, together we will make America great again. More pretty words to suck in the victims. Note it's all "again". Note that most of it is already great. We have the largest most badass military the world has ever seen. We have more billionaires and more income inequality than any country- you think he's for changing THAT ratio? Most Americans are DAMN proud and we love our nation fiercely- that's why we're protesting YOUR election. Safe? Great! You're for gun control! That'll go down well in Red America...

Thank you.
God bless you.
And God bless America."


I'm glad I didn't watch it. I would've broken the TV.

So even without watching it, here's what I dreamt last night.

I was here in Denton, but when we got here, the house next door had been moved. It was taking up our driveway, had eliminated our garage and there was a new fence making half of our yard their yard.

I knocked on the door and asked them about it. They said they had just bought the house and had had it moved to where it now was. I said that there was some mistake and they needed to call the city and get a survey because they were clearly taking up a big chunk of OUR property- so much that we couldn't park in the driveway anymore and had no garage anymore at all.

They laughed and said that they could do whatever they wanted to do because they were REAL Dentonites and that if we didn't like it we should just move somewhere else.

Welcome to Trumpfuckistan.

I'd better get a shower. I have a rally to attend. I'm old and tired but goddammit, this shit WILL be watched, it WILL be protested, and it WILL be gotten thru to the other side.





Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Day 18% of America Cheered Our Demise- Inauguration 2017

You may have noticed that I haven't said much since the election of our soon-to-be wannabe King of the World by a full and rousing 18% of the registered voters of this country.

Am I not pissed? Of course I am.

Am I not disgusted with the entire shitshow of smug disdainful ignorance he shows every time he opens his clueless, spoiled, entitled piehole? Sure.

I'm not full of "sour grapes" because my "side" lost.

Yes, I voted for Hillary, but remember I was (and still am) a Bernie fan first and foremost.

Of course I've spent a fair amount of time saying, "See what you voted for? Thanks for tanking America, Patriots! Only an imbecile takes the fox out of the henhouse and lets a hawk loose in there and says, "Hey- hawks are birds and chickens are birds. I'm sure the hawk will only have the chickens' welfare at heart! He understands EXACTLY what the chickens need! Let's just give that hawk a chance- don't be a hater till we see what he does!" Spoiler alert- I don't need to wait for it. I know what's coming. And so did you, if you're honest with yourself.

You voted to "drain the swamp" and put the guy in charge who has been FUNDING both sides of the swamp for decades- HE TOLD US THAT AT A DEBATE.

You voted for someone who will work for "the little guy" and put the guy in charge who has be screwing over little guys to the tune of 3,000+ lawsuits and a bogus university his ENTIRE LIFE.

You voted for "financial integrity and acumen" and put the guy in charge who has filed for bankruptcy half a dozen times and refuses to show his tax returns (yes he can release them mid-audit- the IRS said that A YEAR AGO and yes he did say he would release them if he became the NOMINEE and he hasn't). The guy started out rich. You and I? IF we get a chance to own our own business, we have ONE chance because we don't have a rich daddy who will bail us out over and over and over and OVER again when we fuck it up.

You voted to "Make America Great Again" (which has always angered me- it's already pretty great, you pompous, bloated, make-your-crappy-merchandise-in-China-or-Mexico borrow-money-from-foreign-banks asshole) and put the guy in charge who spent his entire campaign telling us which AMERICANS we need to squash- the black ones, the brown ones, the liberal ones, the women ("Treat 'em like shit", "Grab 'em by the pussy", "If she weren't my daughter, I'd be dating her"...) and who cheated on BOTH of his FIRST TWO wives. COME ON. Just...COME ON.

You put in charge the guy who is treating being the leader of OUR NATION like a side gig. He's keeping his businesses. He's not spent one minute learning jack shit about diplomacy or how things actually work in DC and I'm not talking about "the swamp" part, I'm talking about little things like how our Founders set up our nation and the rules and steps of how it's supposed to work. He doesn't care. You have basically said, "I need brain surgery. I think I'll have my auto mechanic do it because he'll use fresh eyes and ideas instead of that stuffy old surgeon who has been indoctrinated with all that book-learnin'!"

You put in charge the guy who is filling his administration with people who want to destroy (not improve on) the very things they will be in charge of.

And the GOP will LOVE it until they push thru all their formerly-thwarted agenda: repeal (and replace with NOTHING- he keeps saying it will be repealed/replaced the same day and even the same HOUR---WITH WHAT??? It took YEARS to put together Obamacare- it's not like ordering a fucking PIZZA for Chrissake) Obamacare, privatizing everything from schools to social security, elimination of Medicare and all social safety net programs, reversal of EVERY civil rights battle we've won (only decades after the rest of the world but HEY, WHATEVER, RIGHT?)...and then they will find a way to impeach his ass because he's CLUELESS as to how anything works up there. He is the useful stooge for the GOP. They will put up with his ridiculous persona and his infantile tweeting and his banty-rooster posturing and his empty yet sincere-sounding promising of things THEY ARE ALREADY TAKING AWAY and then they will dismiss him like the useful tool in a suit that he is.


But that's not what currently worries me.

Inauguration is day after tomorrow and I'm seeing articles about how many security people will be there to "protect" our incoming POTUS. Not just secret service. Military and police and self-proclaimed mercenaries (Bikers 4 Trump) and even "Prayer Warriors" (?) who will protect our incoming POTUS.

What the literal fuck?

What the hell is going to happen Friday?

No other incoming POTUS of any stripe (or color) has had that. And if anyone needed it, from the calls for his death if he won...Obama needed it.

Fun thought exercise- if your guy LOST the popular vote by almost 3 MILLION votes and is so disliked, so vile, to MOST of the American citizens that he needs to be protected by tens of thousands of armed guards on inauguration day and people are going to be PROTESTING his coming into power in marches all over the US including DC---imagine if that were happening anywhere else in the WORLD- the US would be sending troops to protect the CITIZENS from an incoming dictator.

Now imagine that this incoming guy is ONLY lauded worldwide by the leaders of North Korea, Russia and the Philippines and he has denounced his own nation's security and intelligence agencies and press/media and has put in places of power military men and his own relatives after losing the popular vote in his nation by millions of votes.

What would the US do? I mean...normally...

This is a guy who has spent his whole life promoting himself and trying to be the "best rich guy out there". He's not been very good at it. Most of the other rich guys don't like him. The only people who like him are those who can be dazzled by his bullshit. He can't do anything without slapping his damn name on it in huge letters. He's admitted that he doesn't build THINGS- he sells a brand.

The head of the National Guard becomes unemployed in the middle of Friday's ceremony, leaving THAT contingent of armed protectors suddenly leaderless. Every US Ambassador has been told to be out of their office and home and on a plane back to the US Friday (guess only Barron Trump gets the luxury of staying in his school till the year is over), leaving our country with zero ambassadors worldwide.

Putin is his hero. Putin is the richest man in the world and he got there by raping his own nation (legally or quasi-legally or by intimidation, whatever worked...) and TRUMP WANTS THAT. He wants to learn how to do that and he's there now. Right there. With one tiny hand on our national checkbook and the other on the Red Button.

No, my friends, this is not "sour grapes" you're hearing from your FELLOW AMERICANS, it's sheer abject terror at what YOU willingly, knowingly unleashed on OUR nation and our children and old people and marginalized people and FUCK IT anyone who is not so goddamn rich they can just whisk off to one of their OTHER houses in ANOTHER country and live off their OTHER money stashed safely away from the smouldering ruins of what is coming after Donald Fucking Trump is done with his pissing match with Putin over who is the "richest man in the world".

"He's not even sworn in yet- give him a chance. Simmer down. Maybe it'll be great!"

Nope. He TOLD us what he was going to do. His 75 years on this earth SHOWED us who he is. He spent over a year saying things that NONE of you would allow or tolerate from your husbands, brothers, sons, friends...

And you fucking pulled the lever for him.

Tens of thousands of armed guards for the inauguration?

What the hell is going to happen Friday?







Monday, November 28, 2016

Wishful Thinking

OK. I'ma get this off my chest first thing.

What the hell, America? I cannot fathom how we could elect Donald Trump as our president. Cannot. Fathom.

Set aside the obvious for a sec. The horrible things he says on a daily basis, the absolute horrors he's looking at to put in his administration, the blatant nepotism and general disregard for the office he said he wanted. Set that aside. Oh, and set aside the hellacious violence-instigating campaign he just ran. Just...set that all aside.

Here were our choices, and think, for a sec, that you are interviewing candidates for an actual job. Because that's what a campaign is, ya'll. The world's longest and most mind-numbingly expensive job interview.

On the one hand you have a woman who has roughly four decades of experience. During that time she racked up an impressive amount of accomplishments, but she also had some blunders. Because we're talking FORTY YEARS and she's, yanno, human. The only person who's done that much time in community service without any blunders would be Bernie Sanders but we can't have a SOCIALIST NOW, CAN WE?

Ahem.

On the other hand, there's this guy with zero experience. He says he has plans but won't tell you what they are. He says he's a great businessman but won't show us his financial records. So, weighing all this...you chose this guy. Well done, America. You should never ever be in charge of human resources EVER.

But that's why we have the electoral college, right? To make damn sure a blithering idiot never makes it into office, right? How did THAT work out for us?

We need to get rid of the electoral college, and I'm not just saying that because "my side" lost. It's archaic and not necessary. We have the world of information at our fingertips and YES, the states that have the most people absolutely should have more say in who is our POTUS if we are really one person/one vote. The rural states should NOT have untoward advantages in this, because frankly, they have no clue what the urban areas NEED, just like the urban areas shouldn't ignore and ridicule what rural areas need. We already have one branch of government that's skewed to give all states "equal weight" and that's the freaking Senate where Utah gets 2 senators and California gets...2 senators. See? There's your "equal treatment".

So, ditch the electoral college and let the people actually choose who they want for POTUS since
a) unless the electoral college does something unheard of (but this entire election cycle has been rife with that shit), we are stuck with Agent Orange as our POTUS so they aren't going to even do what they are supposed to do this time around
b) a big reason we even have the electoral college was so that the less populous states at the time (insert SLAVE-OWNING states because slaves couldn't vote) were able to toss their weight around and keep their way of life which was wrong then and even more wrong now

And here's how to fix some of our seemingly terminal division in this nation. Used to be that actual moderates from both sides would run for office and say crazy things like, "And if elected, I will do my best to work with the (other side) for the good of all the American people" and people would ELECT them instead of calling them RINO's, DINO's and traitors. WEIRD, HUH?

So we're totally divided now and there may as well be alligator-infested moats in that aisle they used to cross all the time.

We need to tweak our leadership just a smidge.

Both sides still choose a candidate for POTUS and a running mate.

Whoever wins the popular vote gets to be POTUS.

Whoever gets the 2nd most votes gets to be VP.

If something happens and the POTUS or VP can't fulfill their duties, their running mate steps up, keeping the party representation in place.

That's it. Simple.

Because MOST of the time, the election isn't 90% voting for one guy and 10% voting for the other guy. This time it's like 2% difference. It was less than 10% difference when it was Obama/Romney. So you have literally almost half your voters all pissed off after the election and the other half screaming, "HA! IN YOUR FACE! GET TO THE BACK OF THE BUS!" which is not helpful for a harmonious national attitude.

MAKE 'em work together. Right at the top of the heap. THAT'S one "trickle-down" that actually has a chance in hell of working.

Seriously, ya'll. Do I have to think of everything?





Monday, November 14, 2016

Let Me 'Splain Something to You, America

Why are people so upset? So they lost the election- why don't they just get over it. What a bunch of whiny baby losers...

Because that's not it at all. At All. Losing the election is something that happens all the time. What we've just invited into our lives is a completely different animal.

People who have done no fact-checking for three decades over any GOP contrived Hillary-gate and done no fact-checking for eight years of Obama's presidency have just watched a man spew out awful hateful things about AMERICAN citizens for over a year. I watched it. Everyone watched it. We couldn't help it. He was on the damn "liberal bias" media 24/7/365 for fuck's sake.

They've watched and cheered as this lying sack of shit urped up lie after lie so quickly fact-checkers had strokes, but every single one was brought out in the open as a lie in quick order. Every single one. And they didn't care. They voted for him anyway.

No- not all were low-information voters. Not all were racist or misogynistic. But every single one was able to disregard his vile invective and vote either FOR him, or against Hillary. Every single one.

The "never Hillary" voters held their noses and voted for this overtly and upright in your face racist, blundering, mean, huckster because...shit they heard Hillary did but was never convicted of- over and over and over again. And instead of saying, "Hey- she wasn't convicted. Guess it's not as big a deal as we thought" they instead went with the guy who's been involved in over 3,000 lawsuits and excuse it away by saying, "Well, that's what happens when you're a successful businessman." (Hint- NO. NO IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS UNLESS YOU'RE A SLIMY-ASS BASTARD OF A BUSINESSMAN.)

I get it. She wasn't perfect. She's not as flashy, clever or charming as Obama. She's not as pushy, vain and confident as Trump. She had an air of "entitlement" to the presidency that turned a lot of people off.

And now this is what we have. He's already surrounding himself with the most "conservative" people on the planet to help him run our country. Dangerous, punitive, selfish and greedy people. He's already walking back everything he made you cheer about- the wall, repealing Obamacare, overturning gay marriage---every one of his pretty promises that were what made Fundamental America hold their nose and vote for him- he's not going to do. SURPRISE!

We've heard the word "trigger" a lot since he's been running for office. Women who have survived abusive relationships are actually triggered into panic attacks just by the sound of his voice and the tone of his words and how he holds himself.

So here's the 'splainin' part:

You start dating someone. It's great. They have a good job and money and say they are successful.

During the dating process, sure some things you don't agree on. He's a little too quick to lose his temper. A little too pushy. Tells a few racist and off-color jokes and expects everyone around him to laugh.

But he's got that good job and tells you he'll take care of you and you'll never have to worry about money again.

Things turn uglier as you and he intertwine your lives more and more. He's still saying the pretty things (especially in public) but at home he's meaner, shorter-tempered. He may even slap you once or twice...in frustration he says. He's sorry. It won't happen again.

Alarm bells go off in your head and you talk to other women you trust- your mom or a close friend and they say, "But he's so successful and handsome. I'm sure he's just really stressed out at work. Try to be patient."

One day he takes out a big ol' diamond ring and asks you to marry him. Every awful thing he's ever said and done crash around in your head and scream, "DON'T DO IT! RUN!" But the ring...and the lifestyle...and the promises that you just KNOW he'll keep...if only you're patient and a good wife.

It'll be fine and everything will be great.

So you say "yes". You go into that voting booth and vote for Trump.

And now- less than a week from the election and over two months from him even getting sworn in, he's already walked back on the best of what he promised you, and is lining up for his old friends and cronies- to make THEIR lives better. Not yours. His and theirs.

Except it's too late, America. You have chosen the bad boyfriend and you can't divorce him.

The reason we're angry is because in spite of his entire campaign rhetoric, in spite of his dismal record as a businessman (it's not a success if you hock everything to build something else, cheat your sub-contractors out of their pay, and make sure that your finances are set up so that if it all goes tits-up you will escape unscathed), you voted for him. You said "yes".

And now that it's too late to say "no", you're telling us to "give him a chance". "Let's see what he does." "Maybe it'll turn out GREAT!"

No. No it won't.

Because just like the bad boyfriend, he's already shown us what and who he is and now that he's the president that's not going to change.

Just like the bad boyfriend, what we saw during the campaign was DATING BEHAVIOR- he was on his BEST behavior trying to woo your vote.

Now that we're hitched to a Trump presidency, he can let his guard down and be himself. He doesn't have to be NICE anymore.

Get it? The awful things we listened to and that triggered us all for over a year? THAT WAS TRUMP ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR.

And now if you'll excuse me, I need to breathe into a paper sack and take some benadryl for my hives.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Flabbergasted...

No, that's not exactly right. I'm not flabbergasted and not sad. I'm pissed off but not for the reasons you may think I am.

My family and I watched till the bitter end about 2am. We couldn't help it- it was like watching the world's biggest car wreck in slow motion.

I went from, "She's got this but it won't be by much, and how embarrassing is THAT?" to

"Just wait till NY and CA total up- she'll get the electoral vote" to

"Holy fucking shit. What the hell is WRONG with us?"

But I was strangely calm. While friends and acquaintances recorded crying, being sick to their stomachs, being afraid and mostly of all angry...so very angry, for whatever reason all I could think of was, "Of course. What else did we expect?"

And I told my husband and son and a dear friend that we'd figure out what we needed to in order to keep us all safe and we went to bed.

This morning I shed tears twice- once at a post my daughter (my conservative daughter) made about how women will ALWAYS have to try harder while undergoing more scrutiny than any man and once when my friend told me he loves me.

And the resignation I felt last night has turned into cold, long-lasting anger.

You need to understand that that's my survival mode. When nothing else gets me thru something that needs to be gone thru to get to the other side, anger will always do it. Anger will always be there for me. Anger has always given me the will to be brave and the tenacity to hang on.

It's not hot and volatile. It's cold and steadfast. And it can last as long as I need it to.

Say...four to eight years. Longer if necessary.

But here's the thing. I'm not angry at who and what you think I am.

I honestly think Donald Trump had no fucking idea he'd win. That's why he had no actual plans set, no key advisors he could name. In his head this was a reality show that ended yesterday and today he'd be moving onto his next project. He had no clue what he's unleashed in the basest of American character and has shown zero actual desire to learn the job he's been applying for for over a year.

So other than his being a clueless, selfish, entitled asshole, I'm not angry at Trump.

I'm not mad at his voters. I honestly think they (90% or better of them anyway) voted for him as a "protest vote" to shake things up in DC- send 'em a message. They really thought Hillary would win and they could bitch and moan about the election being rigged. Today they are as stunned as anyone else INCLUDING TRUMP HIMSELF.

I'm angry at a system that has produced an electorate who is
-clueless as to how things are supposed to actually work
-so desperate for change that they are willing to burn the whole thing down to get it instead of yanno...just not voting for pricks and getting some real honest moderates in office

I'm angry because obviously as a people, we feel so helpless and angry that we will do anything at all just to prove we are still capable of doing something even if that something will destroy us.

I've been married three times. The first two were bad marriages. The second one specifically because he was an abusive drunken asshole.

Here's a thing about abuse. It's complicated. It's easy to say, "NO IT'S NOT- GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THERE!" but until you are tits deep in it, you don't understand. MOST of the time there's something the abuser plays on- your love, your sympathy, your desire to "fix" them...something, and they may not even realize they are doing it because their childhood was so fucked up and they may realize it but can't care enough to change because their own demons are eating them alive.

Justified or not- this man felt victimized his entire life. Abusive childhood. Drinking and drugs. Lots of in and out of jail and mental hospitals. He could be "normal" and charming but not for long. He was too damaged. But he was normal and charming just long enough to catch my heart and stuff it in his pocket.

After one of his many arrests, the officers tossed him into the holding cell- hands still duct-taped behind his back (he was a struggler). He realized he could reach into his back pocket and grab his cigarette lighter.

He'd been arrested (for, in his head, unfair reasons) and was outwardly helpless to do anything that affected his own life.

Except.

He grabbed his lighter and lit himself on fire.

The officers just watched him for a minute before putting him out because it was clearly a dumbfuck thing to do.

But it was all he was capable of doing to prove his autonomy at the time.

Now, imagine yourself as Trump Voter America. Trump promises you that he and ONLY he can fix everything that's wrong with your life. You KNOW that's bullshit. You KNOW that he can't deliver even a tiny fraction of his promises. You know that.

But you vote for him anyway. Because the ones up in DC aren't listening to you (in your eyes) and you want to do something that will get their attention.

Even if you set yourself on fire.

That'll show 'em.

America has for full and true set itself on fire. And I'm angry that we're so shell-shocked as a people that we can't see beyond our own helplessness. We work harder and longer than people almost anywhere else for less pay and with less of a social safety net, but we run like horses back into a burning barn when someone hollers "SOCIALISM!"

I'm angry that we have reached a point that fully half of the citizens who bothered to vote consciously thought, "Fuck it. Burn it to the ground."

How long can I stay angry? Long enough to make sure none of those I love get caught in the fallout.

Long enough to try to protect anyone within my reach who is going to be hurt by what's coming- even and especially those who sowed what we will all now reap.

Long enough.





Saturday, November 5, 2016

Once Upon a Time...

...the super-fundamental conservative Christians (SFCC for short) in America prayed to God for a great leader. "Oh, God. Give us a leader we and our children can look up to. We know you are in charge and trust your Will. Amen."

God said, "Yea, verily my Children. I give you Barack Obama and his family. He and his wife are of humble beginnings but both worked hard and are highly educated- Barack as a Constitutional scholar. They have two adorable girls who don't get into trouble and are a joy to be around. They are eminently the epitome of your 'American Dream' come true. How's THAT for inspiring?"

The collective SFCC- "..................................................NO GOD- NOT LIKE THAT! Don't you SEE? He's a Muslim, Kenyan, trasher of the Constitution who wants to DESTROY America! He's also probably gay and his 'wife' is really a MAN. The kids look like chimps- LOOKIT THIS MEME! We have on good authority that all this is true because those who are telling us are both in the pulpit AND HAVE YOU TUBE CHANNELS. YOU TUBE CHANNELS. Surely you're mistaken. Please send us the correct person at your earliest convenience. Thanks, God. No hard feelings. Amen."

The GOP- "Listen, God. It's not your fault. Hang tight- WE know what they mean." (trots out Trump)

AND THE SFCC GOES WILD WITH JOY AND PROCLAIMS TRUMP 'THE ANNOINTED ONE'

God- "................................................whatever, dudes. I'll just be over here, chillin' with the gorillas and dolphins. You people are why we can't have nice things."

The End. Possibly literally.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

"Border"line Insanity

So my friend Carla and I drove from Austin to San Diego (actually Del Mar) yesterday and today. From Austin it's a route that skirts along the wee north side of our border with our neighbors to the South---the dreaded Mexican border.

We saw no teeming masses of rapists and murderers swarming across it.

There was no impenetrable wall.

It's a horrible, endless, festering and depressing starkly beautiful yet lonesome area of deserts and mountains.

There were, however, checkpoints.

Three of them, to be exact.

When we approached the first one, my mind raced at all the things we could be questioned for, and I ticked off every one in my head.

-There were 18 guinea pigs in the car- guinea pigs don't get rabies so don't need health certificates to travel across state lines

-There was a baggie of cut up carrots and 6 apples in the car, so if they asked about fresh fruit and veggies we could just hand those over

-There may have been a partially consumed bottle of Rumchata in the back seat...

The entire car is filled with our luggage, the guinea pigs' supplies including several 40 pound bags of bedding, and 8 or 9 carriers---some with pigs and some without...yet.

So we steeled ourselves for the obviously inevitable search of our vehicle.

We approached the checkpoint, noting the nine armed agents and the super-enthusiastic German Shepherd. There was a dog who looked at every working day as THE BEST DAY EVER. Carla said, "He's going to eat the pigs."

Finally at the front of the line, we rolled down the window as the agent peered into the car. "Are you American citizens?" he asked. "Ummm...yes. Yes, we are."

"OK- you ladies have a great day."

...and we proceeded on our way, noting the vehicles that had been pulled over for further searching- every one with a driver who was...browner than we are.

I should have been relieved that we didn't have to unpack and repack all our shit or set our pigs out in the sun or open our suitcases to reveal our middle-aged chick clothes and daily supplies.

But I was unaccountably pissed off. Really, really pissed off.

"What the hell??? How did he know we're not running drugs???" I fumed.

"What kind of moron would say, "No- I'm NOT a citizen?" Carla added.

"Seriously- we could have had drugs in the suitcases, drugs under the pigs in their trays, drugs tucked into the middle of the bags of pine shavings to mask the smell!!! WE COULD BE DANGEROUS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" <<< Me- but you already knew that.

Just then Ward called. "Hey, Caramia! Where are you?" And he got the recap of what you just read.

At the end of it, I added, "That was bullshit! Just because we're two middle-aged chicks we get a pass? If I were running drugs, I'D SEND THEM WITH ME BECAUSE I DON'T LOOK DANGEROUS. Maybe I'll start running drugs..."

"Ummm...I'd rather you didn't" Ward said in his calm and rational way.

He really is the only thing that keeps the world safe from me.
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