Who Wants to be a Meteor, Anyway?

"I do not want to hand my children weapons and instruct them on how to watch out for themselves because it's dog eat dog out there.

I want to hand them a world that is on the mend, a society that is truly social, a civilization that is truly civil and those things do not come from burning people alive out of spite, or arming school teachers, or sending drones after citizens of ANY nation.

It comes from a people who are sick of being sick and tired of being scared and who have the courage to really change things instead of getting more entrenched in the same old shit that got us here to begin with.

Change is possible. But it means rethinking everything, everything."

That was how I ended my last post. And I feel I need to elaborate a little more on it because we're so divided, so polarized, that the reactions and responses and pat answers to the above are not what we need at all.

"I do not want to hand my children weapons and instruct them on how to watch out for themselves because it's dog eat dog out there."

Do I think if I teach my children that everyone is their friend and life always has a happy ending nothing bad will happen to them and they can just traipse along with their eyes closed? Of course not. The world CAN be a dangerous place. People CAN do horrible things to other people. But that's not what 99% of it is. The world IS a fantastically beautiful place and people DO behave in kind and self-sacrificing ways every single day and in places you'd least expect them to.

Humans have evolved to be social creatures- herd animals, if you will. We are safer in groups and can accomplish more in groups. We are hard-wired to NEED each other for security and livelihood and companionship. No matter how much we want to all think of ourselves as "rugged individualists" the hard fact is, most people who follow that course are
a) born with some sort of imbalance in their head and it's nature's way of getting them away from the rest of us for our own protection and
b) end up heading up into the hills or locked in an apartment somewhere and either eaten by bears (in the hills) or with a bullet in their head (self-inflicted).

Because it's NOT natural to be loners.

It's natural for us to be part of a community and work together for the common good. That's not communism or socialism, it's HUMANISM...because we're humans.

I will not WILL NOT teach my children to live in fear, and *I* will not live in fear. Have I ever been hurt? Oh, hell yes. To live in fear means that those who have hurt me and wanted to see the fear in my eyes have won. Fuck that shit.

I will love other humans and help other humans no matter if they can ever pay me back or do one thing 'for' me. Because that's what being human means.

I will look for the beauty that is always there- always everywhere and I will love Life.

"I want to hand them a world that is on the mend, a society that is truly social, a civilization that is truly civil and those things do not come from burning people alive out of spite, or arming school teachers, or sending drones after citizens of ANY nation."

How do we change that? Now that the drones are droning and people are armed to the teeth and the richest 1% have more money than the bottom 40%? How do we fix THAT?

Not overnight, unfortunately.

As trite as it sounds, we change it one day, one action, one person at a time.

We STOP rewarding violence and selfishness- stop looking up to people who amass great quantities of wealth merely for wealth's sake- we are so happy to judge the average person on their personal moral behavior but are called "commie" and "pinko" if we question the morality of someone who hides vast amounts of cash in overseas accounts to avoid paying taxes here in their own country. Call it what it is- criminal and selfish and then git after 'em. Don't allow it and STOP REWARDING IT.

Tell our politicians that it is NOT acceptable to wage wars without end, NOT acceptable to take food from children and old people and give tax breaks to the banks and corporations. Not. Acceptable. Vote- we have a system and it may be bent but it's not broken...yet.

Most importantly, we need to insist on liberty and justice for ALL Americans- not just Christian Americans or White Americans or Straight Americans or Gun Owning Americans or Conservative Americans- ALL AMERICANS. The more divided we are kept, the less likely it will be for us to ever become what we were supposed to be.

"It comes from a people who are sick of being sick and tired of being scared and who have the courage to really change things instead of getting more entrenched in the same old shit that got us here to begin with."

This is a hard one. Not the sick and scared part- we've got that down to a tee. And that's why it's hard. Because we've been told and taught that "those other" Americans are somehow...LESS American than we are. That if we want America to be in Her Glory we need to stifle anyone different from us...by force if necessary. Watering the tree of liberty with the blood of patriots and all that shit.

And just like the fact that there is a part of life that can be dangerous and a small percentage of people who can do awful things, the propaganda river runs deep- hip wader deep- with references to Nazi Germany and the dangers of socialism and big government and we all know how THAT turned out, right? without taking one tiny glance at all the countries that DO have socialized health care and their workers ARE treated fairly and they are NOT up to their ears in privately-owned weapons and they are actively IN a society that runs on much more of a socialist level than we do and they are JUST FREAKING FINE- nay, better than fine- they are flourishing and healthier than we are and live longer and the only ones who are in a shitload of financial trouble are the ones who got too tangled up in the US way of finances and are resorting to "austerity measures" that are totally not working because every single economist says they won't but our 'fiscal conservatives' are pushing us over that self-same cliff and DAMN I need to end this sentence.

The difficult and delicate part here is that all those folks who are buying up guns to stave off a government tyrannical takeover really truly believe it is the right and patriotic thing to do and think that those of us who think differently are not only idiots but treasonous.

But they're wrong.

And if they'd stop and think about it for one minute, they'd realize that IF they ever decided to actually take up arms against the government that would give the government the absolute perfect excuse to unleash the military on the citizens and proclaim marshal law. Which is what they're claiming to be trying to avoid.

The government doesn't give a rat's ass how many AR's anyone has. They have bigger. The government LOVES the Armed Citizens- the more paranoid the better. Those are the staunch 'fundamental conservatives' who are voting for the status quo times a bazillion over and over again. Small government? Bullshit. Not when you're regulating vaginas and marriages between consenting adults and making damn sure this country is a theocracy.

Why weren't any of the armed and treasonous tea party rallies met with militarized police force like Occupy was?

Well, the Tea Party likes to say it's BECAUSE they were armed- they were respected because they were armed. It is to laugh.

"Change is possible. But it means rethinking everything, everything."

It's because the Tea Party is not looking to change a damn thing- they want BIGGER government and MORE money for the corporations. The gun-toters are not looking to change a damn thing (obviously, by their cries of "NO COMPROMISE").

They're not a threat. None at all. They are fervently and rabidly protecting the rich and those in power to the detriment of their own families, their own communities, and themselves.

Files from the CIA are now showing that people in Occupy were referred to as "possible terrorists". Students, women, old people, working people of all colors and classes were detained, arrested, pepper sprayed and rubber bulleted. Public peaceful assemblies (remember that one amendment that comes before the second one?) were violently cleared out.

Did they hurt anyone? Steal anything? Were they armed and dangerous?

No. They wanted real change.

They're not gone, by the way. The parks are empty but Occupy is alive and well.

People like me are alive and well. And we want change.

We do not believe in a violent change- we will not instigate violence.

We do not believe that guns in and of themselves are evil. We believe that our current strategy of "the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" is bullshit of the highest order. Our current Gun Culture is crippling and delaying the change we need by creating and rewarding a mindset of violence.

There is such a thing as Peaceful Courage. Peaceful Strength. Willful and Carefully Guarded Peace. True Community. It ain't for sissies. That's what we need to reward and encourage. Non-violent resistance.

It's the only thing that ever changes anything for the good. Ever. Return violence with violence and even if the 'good' guys win you've merely exchanged one group of bloodthirsty victors for another.

The meteor that just hit Russia made a spectacular and sudden hole in their landscape in a violent manner, killing and destroying in an instant all that was in its way. Other than a few scientists' excitement, it's safe to say that love for said meteor is sorely lacking.

The Grand Canyon took millions of years but is much more spectacular. It killed nothing in its path, and came to be so slowly yet persistently that by the time it was 'here' we never knew of anything else. And we love it.

Humans are community-oriented, herd-oriented. They like and need some form of order. If their society values and rewards morality and kindness for its own sake- not coerced by fear of punishment, they will be a moral and civil society.

For several generations (really- that's all) we've rewarded selfishness and greed and are now reaping what that wrought.

We don't need more guns, more violence, more punishment of victims, more division. But in our current mindset that's the most natural and protective thing to do.

We don't need a vengeful jealous god to strike fear into our hearts and MAKE us be good.

We need the strength and courage to need each other without shame, and to help each other without strings.

We need to be a human community, and violently reject anything less.

Non-violently, of course.

Up In Flames

We were in the clutches of Houston and hospitals and hotels and all that mess during the whole Dorner episode of American history (still unfinished, of course).

So I admit from the git go that I don't have even all the information that we, as the viewing public is allowed to have.

We got it in fits and spurts while in the car or on the 'net or between episodes of "House Hunters International"- our main TV viewing when forced in front of a TV for lack of chores and outdoors to participate in. There was that one hour that we watched, horrified, unable to look away yet loathing every second wasted on "Toddlers in Tiaras", but we will not speak of that. Ever.

The murders Mr. Dorner is accused of are still being referred to as 'alleged'.

His manifesto was posted on Facebook- which seems an odd way to post a manifesto and also a really un-secure way.

His wallet showed up at the Mexican border AND in the burnt out cremains of the cabin.

Apparently his allegations regarding the LAPD were not unwarranted, and not all that unusual.

I was amazed that he never left California. With his supposed training and mindset, he shoulda been across the Canadian border within 18 hours of the whole shebang breaking into daylight.

Why would he mosey around California for days?

Ward and I never had a moment's doubt that it would have a decidedly UNhappy ending for Mr. Dorner. Not because he would end it all himself, but because the Powers That Be would make sure he never be allowed to speak in public (or anywhere) again.

The curse of knowing too much and not knowing enough to look the other way.

I am not for a second defending Mr. Dorner IF he did, in fact, kill anyone.

But I cannot get behind the whole, "He was a murdering psychopath- fuck him- he deserved everything he got and then some" crowd who are content to shovel the ashes of that cabin into the dustbin of time and move on.

Because they are still 'alleged' murders.

Because there really ARE things that are decidedly rotten in the Denmark of the LAPD.

Because our President used this weird and awful example and time to nonchalantly yet firmly state that he WAS going to set a drone upon Mr. Dorner's ass. An American citizen on American soil.

But mainly because I don't care if he had stood on the 50 yard line of the Superbowl and shot the person next to him square in the head (during the time the lights were on) and there were a gabazillion witnesses both at the scene and watching on TV leaving NO DOUBT that he committed said murder...

...the LAW states that he be arrested, booked, jailed, given a lawyer if he could not afford one, and receive a trial with a jury of his peers.

And that was not done.

Instead, the cabin was set aflame with direct instructions to do NOTHING to douse the fire. Some accounts state that 'someone' DID try to exit from the back door but was forced back inside. Inside the burning cabin. To die. On purpose.

Two wrongs never make a right. To return violence (alleged violence) with violence (horrible flaming violence)does nothing but weaken the entire society.

And the guns keep flying off the shelves of the stores, and the ammo is difficult to get for the demand, and that idiot LaPierre brays that it's not paranoia to be prepared for violence.

Violence is not the answer, violence is the problem.

Being armed to the teeth is not the answer; we now have an entire population who proudly own a shitload of high powered weapons they have no earthly idea how to use.

Fabulous.

Having the courage to stop this culture of death and revenge and suspicion will take more guts than anyone hiding behind a weapon (or 100 weapons) possesses. The weapons are a crutch that are keeping us from ever getting healthy as a society. They don't protect us; they divide us.

We've stopped depending on each other for security...we've got our guns.

We've stopped insisting on the law of our land for justice...we prefer vigilante solutions.

I want better.

I want better for myself and more importantly I want better for my children.

I do not want to hand my children weapons and instruct them on how to watch out for themselves because it's dog eat dog out there.

I want to hand them a world that is on the mend, a society that is truly social, a civilization that is truly civil and those things do not come from burning people alive out of spite, or arming school teachers, or sending drones after citizens of ANY nation.

It comes from a people who are sick of being sick and tired of being scared and who have the courage to really change things instead of getting more entrenched in the same old shit that got us here to begin with.

Change is possible. But it means rethinking everything, everything.

Otherwise we're just slapping a bandaid over cancer.

The Answer Is No

No.

The cure for violence is not more violence.

The answer to bad men with guns is not good men with guns.

Very few things are black or white.

People are not inanimate objects; numbers that can be added or subtracted and result in the same predictable solution. There are always gray areas.

I've been a victim of violence. I do not wish violence on the offender(s).

It's not a "turn the other cheek" thing. It's a humanity thing.

Revenge would solve nothing- and would make me a lesser human- because then *I* would be a violent human.

There was a mass shooting.

Why was the immediate response a huge run on the purchase of guns?

If you already had guns, why did you need more...NOW?

If you didn't have guns, why did you need any...NOW?

How did that make you safer?

How did that help the victims' families, other than a resounding slap in the face-

"This type of weapon just slaughtered your baby- I GOTTA GET ME ONE!!!"

I don't care what you say, or your alleged motivation- that is exactly what those families saw

-in the empty shelves of the gun stores

-in the rising prices on weapons and ammo

-in the 'gun appreciation' days and the raffles of that exact. same. weapon.

And they hear no apology from you that does not include a 'BUT'-

-We're sorry your child is dead BUT you can't blame the gun

-We're sorry that over 30,000 Americans are killed by guns every year BUT the 2nd Amendment is what keeps us safe and free (unless you're one of the 30,000 I guess)

-We're sorry that our fellow Americans who outnumber us don't agree with us BUT we want our guns, we've twisted the 2nd Amendment to agree with us, we've bought politicians and supreme court justices to agree with us and fuck the rest of you.

Our society is sick.

Our infatuation and devotion and worship of...tools of death are a symptom.

More of the same does not make a cure.

Guns don't kill people.

People kill people.

People with guns kill a lot of people easily and quickly.

The answer is no.

Dante's Inferno? A Day at the Damn Park

What will it take?

I can't get the sound of crying out of my ears- my own.

I can't get the shards of sanity to re-knit, my own and my country's.

I can't.

What will it take?

It's too soon to talk, too soon to decide, the edges of our reason are too sharp, too volatile.

It's too late to talk, too late to act, too hideously horrifyingly fucking late.

Why? The word, three little letters explode from my brain and pummel my consciousness over and over and over again.

Why not? A tiny cold and fatigued answer echoes in my head.

Why not?

Babies die every day, every where, every place deaths just as awful (as if the death of babies is ever not...awful).

We are a violent society, a sick society, we're acting out in very unnatural ways to a very unnatural life that we've embraced en masse, welcoming the cancer of our twisted visions of progress and rejoicing in the smothering of our spirits.

FIX IT! every fiber in my motherly being screams.

Fix it. Make it stop. Let me stop thinking about mothers who will never hold their children again, not just here and now but all those before and all who will come after. Let me stop thinking.

Let me never forget. The moments I stop thinking about it are followed by tidal waves of nauseous reminders, survivors' guilt, shame.

How? Another tiny word oozes like blood down my brow, gets in my eyes, burns and burns.

How did it happen? How did 'they' let it happen? Every person involved from the moment of that young man's birth-

How did our society fail him? How did we WE WE not see, not recognize how sick we are and how we contaminate everything and everyone with the sickness of us.

How did we fail his mother? How?

How?

How do we make sure it never happens again? Any where to any one. Ever.

Cold as ice the answer comes, hard as steel and sharp as glass...we can't.

Life is not pre-ordained or orderly. It's a messy, terrible, wonderful brilliant crap shoot. We are all tiny fragile specks whirling together alone on a microscopic rock plummeting through space.

So we can't.

But we CAN look at every aspect of this thing we call 'civilization' and figure out why the hell it's everything EXCEPT civil.

How the hell did we get here? What were we thinking? Why did we lose our humanity so eagerly, lemmings over a cliff we fall and fall.

It's a daunting and grueling proposition, and will mean everyone everywhere will have to be willing to listen more than talk, to give more than take, to offer much and demand nothing but...life.

Not "life as *I* want it" but "life with liberty and justice for ALL".

It involves so much more than placing a lethal yoke on all the teachers in the country, in the world, the same tools of death used to kill babies in an insane gesture of false safety.

More than collecting all the guns and destroying them- we are sick and the illness itself needs to be cured or we're just masking the symptoms.

More than re-evaluating everything from our unofficial but very real caste system, our stifling and violent religious dogmas, our brain-numbing technology, our family-destroying schedules in our quest to be 'successful people'.

More than the foods we eat and the air we breathe, the medicines we take to make us better when we're not ill, we're just human but our society no longer values that in a person.

We must, as an entire planet, STOP.

We must call in 'human' and not participate anymore in the madness.

Since Friday morning I've had chest pains. I go to bed early and rise late and rise exhausted and every muscle stiff and sore from not relaxing them even in fitful slumber.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that we can't do it.

I'm afraid of what would happen if we did do it.

Think of the societal breakdown, the people who would resist- cling to their old ways and ideals and beliefs, clutching their fiery totems ever closer as the flames engulfed them.

But we're already there- our culture gangrenous and rotting around us and we either do something NOW or die.

There are people (many people) who will say I'm overreacting. I'm upset. I'm over-wrought. This has been a trying few days, but...

What?

Exactly what will it take before We the People of the Planet Earth demand our humanity back?

Exactly how many children lying dead all over the world will it take?

We're soaked in their blood. All of us, soaked in their blood. And it burns.

More strength. Less force.

The time to be human is now.

All I know

All I know is that we are sick
We're sick with fear
Sick with worry
Sick with fatigue

Sick to death.

Our children drugged
To make them manageable
Then schooled
To "just say no".

Our old people
Abandoned
Discarded
In "homes"
After being dragged
From their own.

Everyone fed
Food that's been poisoned
Mutated
Irradiated
For safety.

We're overweight
Undernourished
We're overworked
Underpaid

We're afraid
So afraid
Of each other.

We blame the weak
Defend the strong
And never think
We're all weak

Hate anyone different
But we're all different
To someone.

The answer is more family
Less peer pressure

More real food
Less fast food

More love
Less hate

More humanity
Less religion

More community
For everyone
Less segregation
For any reason

More nurturing
Less violence

Until we learn that
No amount of gasoline
Will extinguish a fire

We'll burn
And burn

You don't fight fire
With fire
More water
Less gasoline

Hold your loved ones tight
Tonight as their shield
And work for a tomorrow
Where shields are
Unnecessary
Obsolete

More strength
Less force

More strength
Less force

More strength
Less force

The cure for violence
Is not more weapons

More healing
Less sickness

I'm sick to death
With how sick we are

"Some Scenes of Graphic Violence"= I'm Changing the Channel Now

So I'm reading this book, and it's clicking along pretty well- it's a little sort of 'end of the world as we know it' book, and it's extra fun because I know the author.

First few chapters behind me, I turn the page...and there it is.

The requisite (apparently) chapter where the good woman gets raped and killed by the roving marauders. And I wonder why the hell?

Why the hell is that necessary? Oh, I know all the stock answers- they're the same ones I hear to justify violence in movies and TV shows...other forms of entertainment.

It's assumed that I shy away from that sort of stuff because I'm all girlie girl and liberal (see post re:Why I'm a Liberal and you'll see where this is going)and just float along batting my eyelashes through my rose colored glasses and waiting for unicorns to show up.

That I don't wanna see 'that stuff' because it's distasteful and I just don't want my pretty little fluffy head filled with ugly images- none of that stuff will ever happen anyway, right?

That I'm unrealistic and idealistic, juvenile and clueless.

Let me help you to understand.

I was talking to a male human about the fact that female humans never quite get over being abused and/or assaulted, sexually or otherwise.

I was told in a sort of condescending manner that HE'D been shot, and stabbed, and beat up, and it hurts, but he got over it.

I asked him how many of his assailants he'd known personally. Zero.

I told him quietly that I've never been physically hurt by someone I didn't know and trust. Read it again and let that sink in.

That's a whole different ball game- with a whole different set of reactions, defenses and rules.

It's a different world if you're female.

Say you're a male and you're walking along and see a bunch of construction workers harassing a passing female. You think, "Geez, whatta buncha assholes" and keep going.

If you're that female, you think, "Geez, whatta buncha assholes" and keep going...with a low rumbling of fear in the pit of your stomach.

So for all you guys who write books about the end of the world- we get it. It's going to be lawless and stressful and unpredictable and awful. The strong will prey on the weak and dogs will eat dogs. Zombie kittens will roam the streets. Children will die. Women will be raped and killed.

We get it.

We get it because we're already the 'weaker sex' as far as bulk and strength and we are aware of all the above every single stinking day of our lives. Somewhere in the back of our minds, no matter how brave, or bitchy, or bossy, or confident we appear on the outside we know. We know we're vulnerable to being hurt and worse.

I shy away from violence in entertainment not because I don't think it can happen for realsies and I just don't want to look at "icky stuff".

But because I KNOW it can happen for realsies. Because it already has. To me.

Why the hell would I willingly sit in front of that shit for ENTERTAINMENT???

How can we seem so sure of ourselves and conduct our lives with such efficiency and bullheaded cheerfulness?

The same way any of us give birth more than once.

Love and Life are stronger than Fear.

We all have a limited amount of moments in our lives. It's a horrible, evil waste of those moments to spend even one of them on violence- even pretend violence- willingly.

Peace.

There's More Than One Way To Skin A Cat

Their eyes pierce straight into our hearts and chill us to the bone.

Images on the screen of armed recruits being trained for wars far away make us uneasy, upset, dismayed and disturbed because the bodies housing the steely eyes and grasping the automatic weapons are tiny. Child Warriors.

Ripped from their homes by force, or given up in despair by parents who have nothing to feed them and no hope of anything later today, or tomorrow, or next week, or ever, the pint-sized soldiers try to find their way in a world that is very dangerous, unbelievably hard, hellishly unforgiving.

And we wonder how something like that could happen- how could an entire society turn its back on its young people, allow- even encourage them- to become pawns of war.

How can they not protect them, do something that would allow families to stay together and be strong, live well, not just survive, but thrive and become instruments of true honor and strength and hope.

And all the while the training of child troops continues- the boys becoming sometimes quickly, sometimes inch by inch, immune to pain and fear and that little voice inside that says "STOP! Killing is wrong".

And after a while they pull the trigger without thinking,

without pausing,

without feeling a thing.

Luckily, we are very far removed from that sort of de-humanization. We live in the lap of luxury, the land of the free, the home of the brave, by the Grace of God, Amen.

That sort of horror could never happen here- we're too smart, too blessed, too wealthy, too in tune with our family values.

So we tuck in our children at night- our children who will not be torn from our arms violently, who we will not abandon due to lack of food, or water, or shelter.

Our children, most of them, will go every day to either day care or school- safe places where they "do their work" while we do ours for many hours each day until we pick them up and go home- after the extracurricular activities are finished and errands are run.

Our children, most of them, have more worldly possessions than most adults the world over- thanks to us and our culture of consumerism, and after dinner and after homework they wrap themselves in their solitary rooms surrounded by tv's and computers and playstations and cell phones.

And we sit in the living room, or in front of our own computer screens- staring mutely and with horror at the babies overseas who are being blatantly trained to kill without thought, without fear, without regret.

while our children sprawl in their rooms filled with technological wonders, and they plug in the latest video game and face virtual foes and monsters, some imaginary and some human and the graphics are amazing, the images indistinguishable from "real life". The first few minutes are spent acclimatizing to the scenery and the creatures and the rules of the game.

But after a while they pull the trigger without thinking,

without pausing,

without feeling a thing.