Lowered Expectations

Life is full of compromise.

My New Year's resolution was to blog thrice weekly, and not only did I not manage that, but now we're going on the thrice month without a blog post altogether. Now, one could say that's an epic failure of outstanding magnitude.

Or

One could look at what else I've been up to and think, "Good gawd, how did she manage to get any sleep at all the last three months?" Because we're heading into a huge physical move at work into a brand new facility, we've been out of town some, the Boy finished up the 9th grade which literally took a village to accomplish, we obtained and are still cozying up a 'city house' in Denton in addition to the farm where baby goats have been born, projects undertaken and my entire guinea pig breeding program re-worked. I'm also concentrating more on helping a loved one with their writing than my own writing for the foreseeable future so what I'm saying is

both the road to Hell and my life are paved with good intentions.

So the Lowered Expectation version of my utterly attainable yet just out of reach resolution is, "Hey. I'll do the best I can. You can't have everything."

And I've been thinking about that very thing as we go into another ridiculous circus of clown cars presidential election year. Because one thing that's hurt us A LOT the last two elections is the apparent loss of the American citizen's ability to compromise.

In the beginning, it's pretty easy to grab onto a candidate who embodies, nay even mirrors, all the things you personally hold near and dear and hop on that bandwagon wearing the t-shirt and grasping the bumper sticker. Then they start falling by the wayside.

At the end of it, we get to choose (realistically) from two people- two people who have made it that far by pissing off the least amount of folks in their camp and by kissing the asses of the biggest donors who pay for the ads that state that their competitor is doing the exact same thing...but in a bad way.

Here's where we SHOULD look at each one, decide which one lines up the closest with how we think our nation needs to go for the next four years and vote for that one. Not, "Hold your nose and vote the party", not, "Screw it- I'm not voting because voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil so I'm voting my conscience" which sounds better than, "I hate them both because they're not ME so I'm pouting and not voting,but I reserve the right to bitch about whoever wins".

It's not 'selling out'. It's not 'voting for the lesser of two evils'. It's making a freaking decision and compromising because you're a grown up and realize that in a country as big as ours is there isn't ONE GUY OR GAL who will go in and do ONLY what you personally want. That's toddler-think.

ANY candidate who hollers, "NO COMPROMISE" should be put in time out with no dessert and treated like the hellacious brat he/she is.

ANY candidate who vows to deny American citizens rights that other American citizens enjoy should be despised, not celebrated. *Just as a reminder- that means EVERYONE- not just everyone like YOU, because no matter how loudly you holler "BUT THEY'RE NOT REAL AMERICANS" while stuffing your fingers in your ears, it doesn't make it true. People of ALL colors, genders, orientations, political parties and religions (or NOT) are, in fact American citizens just like you. For realsies.

Here's the thing that we all should've learned in kindergarten. We don't get our way all the time. When we try to do the wrong thing by someone else, it generally comes back to bite our own ass. Our parents, our teachers and Jesus all tell us to SHARE- help the little guy, denigrate the bully.

When we took a vote on stuff in class or our friend groups, not everyone won- some people got their way and some didn't. If the winners gloated and stuck out their tongues they were told to stop being such dicks. If the losers burst into tears and ran home they were told to stop being such babies. For god's sake look around- we are an entire country of dicks and babies and we REWARD that, vote them into office and then wonder why they go to DC and do nothing but throw shit at each other like a passle of chimps.

In years past, a candidate was celebrated (and elected) if they vowed to work for ALL their constituents, not just those of their own party and if they promised to 'work across the aisle for the betterment of the entire nation'. Now that's called being a traitor, being a RINO, being a DINO. Dicks and babies rule.

We need to grow the hell up. Stop looking at a candidate and thinking, "Will he do what's best for ME?" and start thinking, "Will he do what's best for ALL Americans?"

That's not selling out, it's not lowered expectations- if anything it's the exact opposite. It's demanding of YOURSELF that you stop being selfish and acknowledge that other Americans' rights are just as valid and precious as your own and demanding that they be protected, too.

Compromise is not a four letter word. You're thinking of 'MINE'.

Hey Dr. Rice- Why Are You Such An Asshole?

It was rush hour in Tyler Texas- not New York City by any stretch of the imagination, but Tyler boasts a respectable almost 80,000 people and the Loop between 5 and 6:30pm is pretty well-traveled.

I was stopped at an intersection with a traffic signal along with say, 50 or 60 other autos, when I saw in the rear-view mirror a small, spotless and sleek sports-type car weaving in and out, jockeying to be in the front when the light turned green. As the car lurched impatiently forward past me, I saw the Vanity Plate- Dr Rice.

Really?

You drive like a completely insensitive selfish asshole and your car has your NAME on it? That adds like, a million points to your asshole score.

The sad thing is, we've become an increasingly UNcivilization.

Used to be, if we were engaged in conversation with someone, or at work- perhaps waiting on a customer, or watching a movie in a public theater, that one thing would be the most important thing to us at that moment. We would've been appalled if suddenly someone else had just popped into whatever we were doing and started talking about something completely different. How often were we told as children, and told OUR children "Don't interrupt. It's very rude".

And yet, that's what happens all the time now. Cell phones are everywhere, going off like so many buzzers, alarms, annoying snippets of popular or classical music, fracturing any semblance of whatever was supposed to be going on in the first place.

When did we all become so important that we have to be connected to everyone at all times and whoever is physically around us be damned?

Little horrible secret- we're not.

We're all suffering from grotesquely bloated egos, and truth be told, are damaging the most important relationships around us every day with carelessness.

Do I have a cell phone? You betcha. It is, in fact, my work phone- bought and paid for by my employer because as manager, I'm to be available to the workplace 8a-8p/7/365.

But here's the thing.

When it rings, if I'm otherwise occupied (and I often am), I hit 'mute', glance at the number and decide if it's urgent or let it go to voicemail. If I feel I must answer it, I excuse myself and leave the room- nothing is quite as thoughtless as someone yakkin' it up on their phones within earshot of everyone around them- essentially rendering them inconsequential and unimportant.

When did we become such a nation of sociopaths?

This afternoon, leaving the hospital, we were waiting for the elevator in the parking garage. My son and myself, a young adult woman, and an older couple- the husband using a cane. The elevator arrived, and the young woman stepped in first and pushed the button for her floor as the older couple moved slowly towards the door- only a few steps- we'd all been standing right in front of the elevator.

The doors closed and the elevator was gone.

When the next one arrived, my son and I entered first, and my 10 year old son- without being asked to- pushed and held the "open door" button till the older couple was on board. When we got off on our floor, he asked me incredulously "Didn't that lady SEE that they were old and needed a minute to get on??? Why didn't she hold the door open?"

I don't know.

I can't tell him why a grown woman would do that.

Maybe she was in a hurry. Maybe she was distracted with the worry over whatever relative she has in the hospital. Or maybe she's related to Dr. Rice.

I moderate an online forum, and every so often we get 'trolls'- those lovely people who live to annoy other people and push their buttons, frothing up and igniting entire cyber-populations. Here's what I can't understand- behind the anonymous curtain of the interwebs you can be anyone you want to be- you can be rich, good looking, brilliant, philanthropic, dynamic, and generally outstanding.

Why would you purposely CHOOSE to be an asshole?

Which brings us back to Dr. Rice. Like the lady in the elevator, I don't know if Dr. Rice was hurrying to some emergency surgery, or just late for cocktails with a colleague at the club. If the former was the case, I apologize for misconstruing your behavior, and I hope you got there in time.

If the latter is true, it concerns me not a little that you think you deserve to be at the front of the line by virtue of your social status.

It bothers me quite alot that this attitude may very well seep into how you treat your patients.

We're none of us all that important that we are given permission to discount those around us. We must put the civil bits back into civilization, or risk losing the humanity parts of being human.