Yep, it's another look back to a very dark time- a year ago day after tomorrow I wrote the following post, and although things have turned out more marvelously than I could even conceive of at the time, two things have not changed.
The strength of our family unit and the love of our friends.
For everyone who was there, and who is still here, and who has shown true love in good times and bad, this one is for you...again and always.
The Dixons love you.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
When Just Being Thicker Than Water is No Damn Good At All
"Blood is thicker than water".
I never did know what the hell that was supposed to mean. I mean, first of all- duh.
Second of all, so what?
I've found that in a pinch, when push comes to shove, when your back's against the wall and when the shit hits the fan, merely being "thicker than water" doesn't cut the mustard. You need a rope, good and strong.
And in actual practice, most of those that could be defined as "thicker than water" have been about as useful as tits on a bull.
My folks have helped us out as they could- so they're excluded.
Ward's mom was an angel.
But by and large, when we've really needed help- and unfortunately that's been a frequent event- it's been our friends who've rushed forward to catch us, to hold us, to steady us and keep us from going over the edge.
So years ago, we stopped depending on our blood relatives, and started forming our "real" families of people we knew would be there for us.
That's not unusual. Alot of people do that. What is unusual, is that instead of banding together with others just like us, our "real" family is an amazing combobulation of religions, genders, nationalities, races, orientations, ages, and political scope. I credit the interwebs with allowing us to meet such a glorious lot, although my innate oddness would've ensured that our manufactured immediate family would not resemble our neighbors' at all.
Right now, my husband and his wife and son are in the most distress we've ever been in. He's in ICU at a huge cancer hospital and on a ventilator- not breathing on his own and in possible congestive heart failure.
Our home and farm are being cared for indefinitely by a huge bear of a man from Montana who's moved into our home and family- we've turned him into an old chicken herding hippie, and he's Friend to Ward, Uncle to Alec, and he has me packing a purse pistol named Thelma.
The friend our son thinks of as his brother drove down for the weekend and took Alec to NASA and a grand tour of the seedier parts of Houston.
My friend of over 30 years who lives in the Dallas area drove down after church to spend Sunday afternoon and evening with Alec.
Our friends who live in Houston are there always- on call- to take any or all of us out for distraction or into their home for comfort.
My home school moms are coming here tomorrow to be here for us.
Alec has had offers literally from around the country by people who want to take him into their homes- protect him, love him, support him while I deal with the mundane horrors of the cancer hospital.
Alec, Ward and I have faced 8 years of this mess together and together we'll face this go-round. Together. We're not leaving here without my husband and Alec's daddy.
People call me and email me and message me from around the world. We're being prayed for, candles lit, energies and jujus sent, and all gods and spirits called for strength for my family.
Friends we've met, hugged in real life, and those we haven't, from sea to shining sea, both new and one I've known for 35 years are there at the touch of a mouse, or the tapping out of a phone number.
We feel the love as a shawl around our shoulders- warm and sheltering.
Our friends ARE our Family- better than some sticky ooze that's claim to fame is being "thicker than water", our friends are our rope- and we cling tightly to them while being beaten down by the storms of illness. Over and over and over again.
They are stalwart. And true. And without them we'd have drowned long ago.
Posted by lunamother at 7:45 PM
photo
photo by Sheri Dixon
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Best Birthday Present Ever
I know my birthday was last week, and it was lovely.
And of course the BEST Best birthday present ever is having my family around me, good friends beside us, and a healthy (if sagging) physical constitution.
But
Other than those (very precious) gifts, yesterday I received the Best Birthday Present Ever.
The interwebs (as I've mentioned before) is a wonderful place. We've met people from all over the world here and, thanks to a love of travel and a quest for unusual family vacations, have managed to meet quite a few of them in person.
Without fail, the people we think we'd like in person have turned out to be just as they appear through our computer screen but better, because there's real sharing of coffee, conversation and hugs.
One couple who is more special to us than most (and that's saying something) are our friends Bruce and Cheryl in northern Minnesota. (Please see Bruce's Compass Rose blog- it's in my Favorites List).
We've been to Bruce and Cheryl's place twice now, tucked into the heart of a state forest and partially cradled in Mother Earth's arms, their home is as warm and welcoming and natural as they are.
Until recently, "personal hygiene issues" were taken care of in the outhouse, but what an outhouse! Perched among a clump of birches, bright, airy, and cleaner than my own bathroom at home, the outhouse was papered with memorabilia Bruce and Cheryl had collected over the years.
On my very first trip to the outhouse, I noticed the little metal button on the wall and mentioned how much I liked it.
That was six (?) years ago. Our second visit was three(?) years ago and I again mentioned the little button. (please excuse the question marks- these last eight years have sort of all muddled together...)
Yesterday in the mail was an envelope from Bruce and Cheryl. Inside was a note-
Sheri...
Happy Birthday. This pin has been hanging in our outhouse for years...the rust tells the tale. We can think of no one who better deserves the title than you.
From our outhouse to yours!
Love to you.
Peace, health and prosperity.
Cheryl and Bruce
And out it dropped, quiet as a snowflake, powerful as friendship, and magical enough to make me smile every time I think about it AND the friends who cared enough to remember such a tiny thing-
...and never fear, Cheryl- I may now hold the button- but you will always retain the title.
And of course the BEST Best birthday present ever is having my family around me, good friends beside us, and a healthy (if sagging) physical constitution.
But
Other than those (very precious) gifts, yesterday I received the Best Birthday Present Ever.
The interwebs (as I've mentioned before) is a wonderful place. We've met people from all over the world here and, thanks to a love of travel and a quest for unusual family vacations, have managed to meet quite a few of them in person.
Without fail, the people we think we'd like in person have turned out to be just as they appear through our computer screen but better, because there's real sharing of coffee, conversation and hugs.
One couple who is more special to us than most (and that's saying something) are our friends Bruce and Cheryl in northern Minnesota. (Please see Bruce's Compass Rose blog- it's in my Favorites List).
We've been to Bruce and Cheryl's place twice now, tucked into the heart of a state forest and partially cradled in Mother Earth's arms, their home is as warm and welcoming and natural as they are.
Until recently, "personal hygiene issues" were taken care of in the outhouse, but what an outhouse! Perched among a clump of birches, bright, airy, and cleaner than my own bathroom at home, the outhouse was papered with memorabilia Bruce and Cheryl had collected over the years.
On my very first trip to the outhouse, I noticed the little metal button on the wall and mentioned how much I liked it.
That was six (?) years ago. Our second visit was three(?) years ago and I again mentioned the little button. (please excuse the question marks- these last eight years have sort of all muddled together...)
Yesterday in the mail was an envelope from Bruce and Cheryl. Inside was a note-
Sheri...
Happy Birthday. This pin has been hanging in our outhouse for years...the rust tells the tale. We can think of no one who better deserves the title than you.
From our outhouse to yours!
Love to you.
Peace, health and prosperity.
Cheryl and Bruce
And out it dropped, quiet as a snowflake, powerful as friendship, and magical enough to make me smile every time I think about it AND the friends who cared enough to remember such a tiny thing-
...and never fear, Cheryl- I may now hold the button- but you will always retain the title.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
When Just Being Thicker Than Water is No Damn Good At All
"Blood is thicker than water".
I never did know what the hell that was supposed to mean. I mean, first of all- duh.
Second of all, so what?
I've found that in a pinch, when push comes to shove, when your back's against the wall and when the shit hits the fan, merely being "thicker than water" doesn't cut the mustard. You need a rope, good and strong.
And in actual practice, most of those that could be defined as "thicker than water" have been about as useful as tits on a bull.
My folks have helped us out as they could- so they're excluded.
Ward's mom was an angel.
But by and large, when we've really needed help- and unfortunately that's been a frequent event- it's been our friends who've rushed forward to catch us, to hold us, to steady us and keep us from going over the edge.
So years ago, we stopped depending on our blood relatives, and started forming our "real" families of people we knew would be there for us.
That's not unusual. Alot of people do that. What is unusual, is that instead of banding together with others just like us, our "real" family is an amazing combobulation of religions, genders, nationalities, races, orientations, ages, and political scope. I credit the interwebs with allowing us to meet such a glorious lot, although my innate oddness would've ensured that our manufactured immediate family would not resemble our neighbors' at all.
Right now, my husband and his wife and son are in the most distress we've ever been in. He's in ICU at a huge cancer hospital and on a ventilator- not breathing on his own and in possible congestive heart failure.
Our home and farm are being cared for indefinitely by a huge bear of a man from Montana who's moved into our home and family- we've turned him into an old chicken herding hippie, and he's Friend to Ward, Uncle to Alec, and he has me packing a purse pistol named Thelma.
The friend our son thinks of as his brother drove down for the weekend and took Alec to NASA and a grand tour of the seedier parts of Houston.
My friend of over 30 years who lives in the Dallas area drove down after church to spend Sunday afternoon and evening with Alec.
Our friends who live in Houston are there always- on call- to take any or all of us out for distraction or into their home for comfort.
My home school moms are coming here tomorrow to be here for us.
Alec has had offers literally from around the country by people who want to take him into their homes- protect him, love him, support him while I deal with the mundane horrors of the cancer hospital.
Alec, Ward and I have faced 8 years of this mess together and together we'll face this go-round. Together. We're not leaving here without my husband and Alec's daddy.
People call me and email me and message me from around the world. We're being prayed for, candles lit, energies and jujus sent, and all gods and spirits called for strength for my family.
Friends we've met, hugged in real life, and those we haven't, from sea to shining sea, both new and one I've known for 35 years are there at the touch of a mouse, or the tapping out of a phone number.
We feel the love as a shawl around our shoulders- warm and sheltering.
Our friends ARE our Family- better than some sticky ooze that's claim to fame is being "thicker than water", our friends are our rope- and we cling tightly to them while being beaten down by the storms of illness. Over and over and over again.
They are stalwart. And true. And without them we'd have drowned long ago.
I never did know what the hell that was supposed to mean. I mean, first of all- duh.
Second of all, so what?
I've found that in a pinch, when push comes to shove, when your back's against the wall and when the shit hits the fan, merely being "thicker than water" doesn't cut the mustard. You need a rope, good and strong.
And in actual practice, most of those that could be defined as "thicker than water" have been about as useful as tits on a bull.
My folks have helped us out as they could- so they're excluded.
Ward's mom was an angel.
But by and large, when we've really needed help- and unfortunately that's been a frequent event- it's been our friends who've rushed forward to catch us, to hold us, to steady us and keep us from going over the edge.
So years ago, we stopped depending on our blood relatives, and started forming our "real" families of people we knew would be there for us.
That's not unusual. Alot of people do that. What is unusual, is that instead of banding together with others just like us, our "real" family is an amazing combobulation of religions, genders, nationalities, races, orientations, ages, and political scope. I credit the interwebs with allowing us to meet such a glorious lot, although my innate oddness would've ensured that our manufactured immediate family would not resemble our neighbors' at all.
Right now, my husband and his wife and son are in the most distress we've ever been in. He's in ICU at a huge cancer hospital and on a ventilator- not breathing on his own and in possible congestive heart failure.
Our home and farm are being cared for indefinitely by a huge bear of a man from Montana who's moved into our home and family- we've turned him into an old chicken herding hippie, and he's Friend to Ward, Uncle to Alec, and he has me packing a purse pistol named Thelma.
The friend our son thinks of as his brother drove down for the weekend and took Alec to NASA and a grand tour of the seedier parts of Houston.
My friend of over 30 years who lives in the Dallas area drove down after church to spend Sunday afternoon and evening with Alec.
Our friends who live in Houston are there always- on call- to take any or all of us out for distraction or into their home for comfort.
My home school moms are coming here tomorrow to be here for us.
Alec has had offers literally from around the country by people who want to take him into their homes- protect him, love him, support him while I deal with the mundane horrors of the cancer hospital.
Alec, Ward and I have faced 8 years of this mess together and together we'll face this go-round. Together. We're not leaving here without my husband and Alec's daddy.
People call me and email me and message me from around the world. We're being prayed for, candles lit, energies and jujus sent, and all gods and spirits called for strength for my family.
Friends we've met, hugged in real life, and those we haven't, from sea to shining sea, both new and one I've known for 35 years are there at the touch of a mouse, or the tapping out of a phone number.
We feel the love as a shawl around our shoulders- warm and sheltering.
Our friends ARE our Family- better than some sticky ooze that's claim to fame is being "thicker than water", our friends are our rope- and we cling tightly to them while being beaten down by the storms of illness. Over and over and over again.
They are stalwart. And true. And without them we'd have drowned long ago.
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