I'll Take a Handful Of the Little Yellow Ones, Please

So, we were watching our morning dose of "What the rest of the world thinks is normal and/or important" via Good Morning America. We like to do that right after viewing the morning traffic commute information for Dallas- the two together sorta act as our daily affirmation of how much we love our life, and a renewed certainty of what we endeavor to avoid at all costs.

Most days, there's at least one thing that makes us go "Huh. Weird". or "SERIOUSLY?" and every so often we can literally see the letters W T F flashing red inside our eyeballs at something especially insane.

The day in question was one of those days.

There was an expert (there's always an expert) who was also a psychiatrist talking about a NEW syndrome for people to be plagued with-

*FRUGAL FATIGUE*

Huh. Weird. SERIOUSLY? WTF???

Apparently, because of our recent National Economic Downturn, people have had to (wait for it...) WATCH THEIR POCKETBOOKS.

And that has made them sad, nay more than sad- they're (insert whiny voice) TIRED OF PINCHING PENNIES.

Tired of Pinching Pennies= Frugal Fatigue.

The good doctor on the TV warned that if Frugal Fatigue is not addressed properly and with all due respect, the afflicted will be likely to fall off the bargain bin wagon and (wait for it...) GO ON A SPENDING BINGE.

Once I got over my shock and horror at this new malady gnawing at the very loins of our Great Nation, I was stricken with a vision, a clue, a prophesy if you will about how to cure Frugal Fatigue without the help of physicians or pharmaceuticals.

So here's the wickedly simple fix for Frugal Fatigue, America-

GROW THE HELL UP.

Yep- I've had to pinch pennies all my life and other than the times I've been caring for newborns or working 2 full time jobs to make ends meet, I've yet to be fatigued for even a second.

In fact, I'm generally tickled pink to find a deal- I consider it the height of the shopping experience to see something I like, then find it at a deep discount (or at Goodwill) before making an actual purchase. I love Goodwill. I get a very real and physical thrill at coming home with a huge bag of clothing- all name brands- and having spent under $50 for what would be $500 worth of stuff at the mall.

Shopping wisely and making every penny count two or three times isn't a burden- it's good budgeting and fiscal responsibility. To give it a medical name is the first step.

That's "Recognizing the problem".

The next step is to find a drug to fix it.

Disgusting.

I can't stand all the advertisements- anti-depressants, anti-insomniacs, what the hell? "Do you find yourself sad and worried most of the time?" "Do you lie awake at night unable to sleep?"

OF COURSE WE DO, YOU ASSHOLES- OUR COUNTRY'S IN THE SHITTER AND WE'RE EFFECTIVELY HELPLESS TO FIX IT OR CHANGE THE COURSE OF OUR OWN MEAGER LIVES.

*ahem*

I'd be horribly remiss if I didn't share the handy hints to stave off the dreaded "spending binge" Frugal Fatigue may trigger, so here they are-

-allow yourself a small luxury now and then- sort of a valve release so you don't just one day go ballistic in Dillards and need a UHaul to get yer stuff home.

-only carry cash- that way you have a very tactile sense of spending money- you aren't just slapping the plastic on the counter, you're counting out actual greenbacks.

-(this one's my favorite) only carry big bills, because you'll be less likely to want to break 'em into change. Notice it says "bills" plural. Like we've all got a mittful of Ben Franklins to walk around with.

That right there told me how very far removed the expert psychiatrist and the hosts of Good Morning America really are from the reality most of us move around in.

The heartbreaking thing is that people are sitting around watching this drivel and thinking "Hey- I'm pretty pissed off and tired of not having any money- I think I've got this here Frugal Fatigue" and simultaneously "Someday I'm gonna be just like those people on the TV- that's the "normal" we're all supposed to be shooting for".

No. It's not. None of the above. If you get up every day and work your ass off to keep your family fed and clothed and happy, and you do it by shopping the sales racks and discount stores and never having a slim dime to put in the "entertainment" column of a budget sheet, YOU ARE A WINNER AND A HERO.

And don't let any talking head or PHD or TV ad with a computer generated moth on it tell you otherwise.

Rock On.

The Summer of Our DisEnchantment

So the election season has begun, and everyone politically inclined is crowing pre-mature victory, cackling at the real or imagined disasters of opposing parties or quaking in their boots at the prospect of being unseated and summarily dismissed after the votes have been counted.

A while back, we had one party in control of our governmental decisions. Some were good decisions, some were very very bad decisions. That happens all the time, no matter who is in charge. Because the government is made up of people, who are flawed- no matter what they say or believe or how they've lived (or claim to live).

Government is Big. There's no getting around it unless all the states decide to secede and try to survive in the world on their own. Government is Big because this country is Big, with alot of people and issues, and whatnot.

So for that period of time, one party (lets call them Republicans) were in charge. Any time the opposing party (lets call them Democrats) tried to have any sway or influence on some of the really big, possibly bad decisions, the Republicans swatted them with a rolled up newspaper and sent them packing. They called this Majority Rule and said it was the American Way, and called them a buncha whiners.

After a while, things started to go sour and the State of the Nation began to curdle.

The Republicans said "Hey- nothing happens overnight. It's a Big Country. We just need more time to turn this around- give us another chance".

And the American People did.

After another 4 years of the same dismal downward spiral, the American People got alarmed.

The Democrats said "Yanno- we could do better than THAT".

So the American People decided to give them a chance.

Here's where it gets weird.

Instead of saying "Well, the American People- those who actually, yanno, OWN the country and pay our salaries- have changed the balance of power in the Government. This happens all the time and is not, in the grand scheme of things, a Really Big Deal. We'll work with the new powers and get behind this administration because that's what we, as Americans, do", people everywhere, in Government and outside of it went

completely

batshit

insane.

The same people who said "Hey- nothing happens overnight" were the first to scream Foul and Ineptitude when the new administration couldn't deliver immediate and sweeping changes. Conversely, the same people were the first to scream Foul and Dictator-tude when the administration DID manage to make some of the changes they'd promised.

Instead of swatting the opposing party with a rolled up newspaper, once the Democrats got into power they acted like they didn't even HAVE a rolled up newspaper and did everything imaginable, including watering down important legislation to keep the opposing party from growling at them. And they did more than growl, they did more than whine- they screamed "HEY!- the Dems are being mean to us and steamrollering everything through without regard for our tender little feelers".

*what the Hell?*

People who know full well that they themselves couldn't pass a cursory background check are screaming that the President isn't a US Citizen. Really? Just how did THAT happen?

People are using the words Nazi, Communist, Socialist, and Marxist interchangeably. People who can't spell the word Muslim are being taken seriously, not because anyone in power really believes what they are screaming, but because it makes for good News/Entertainment and fosters the fear needed to get their Power back.

The pollsters are hollering that there's going to be a slaughter for the Dems and the Republicans are hooting and joyous- because that will mean less fear of unemployment...for THEM.

Here's the Thing.

America- this big chunk o' real estate that's inhabited by people, not constituents, not voters, not demographics- is scared shitless.

The economy is not getting better, but it's mentally safer to call bullshit on the President's citizenship.

We're bogged down in not one, but two wars overseas that have no sight in end, but it's mentally safer to focus on which political party has acted worse (trick question- they both completely suck eggs).

Here's what we need. We NEED the President of the United States to stop telling us how much better it's getting. Because it's not yet. Tell us it will- tell us how- be honest about how long it'll take even if it's not what we want to hear- and do it.

We need the Democrats, the ones in charge of the government right now, to do what they believe in to fix the problems- stop worrying about the barking Republicans and swat 'em away like they did to YOU.

The reason YOUR supporters (or former supporters) are angry and fixin' to send you packing is not because of what you've done so far, but because of what you HAVEN'T done- and that's to take charge and do what you told us you would.

Some Americans have said that the only reason we're in this fix is because last time around, the country was disenchanted and voted not for the Democrats, but against the Republicans, and we're fixin' to flip back come November.

If it does swing back, it will NOT be because the Republicans are so much better at running this country, because they're not- they got us into alot of this mess we're neck deep in while they were throwing their weight around, ignoring the Democrats and the actual people who live here and making sure their wealthy cronies were taken care of the last time they were in charge and there's no reason to believe they've learned anything.

And they all know that. They know full well they will be winning not on the power of their positions and stands and beliefs, but by the lack of confidence in the current way things stand. They know it because that's precisely why THEY lost last time.

And they don't care. They don't care about you. Or me. Most of 'em don't, on either side.

And at this juncture, America doesn't even need someone who cares. America needs someone who Gets the Shit Done that ordinary Americans (not the banks, not the corporations, not the War Machine) need.

Mr. President and the current pols in power- I hope like hell you get another chance to actually do what you said you were going to.

It'd be nice if you did it because you cared. But even if you only do it in fear of your own employment, that works too.

Because right now- here's what most Americans feel like-