Just an Old Goat

We lost Alice yesterday.

She went down about a week ago- not on her side or in pain or even in distress, just with her legs under her like a big dog and decided she didn't want to get up again.

And if a 150 pound goat tells you she's fine right where she is, you just move the food and water and tuck a sleeping bag around her old bones.

Alice and Trixie were our 2nd attempt at goats down here in Texas. The first 2- China and Marigold- were run down and killed by dogs who dug under the fence one winter day while we were at work.

It took me 2 years to get Ward to agree to try again.

Goats are very personable.

So we got Alice and Trixie. Trixie died of bloat about 5 years ago.

Alice had a set of triplets every year...and raised them all. Usually one is smaller, weaker, and gets pushed out of the way by siblings and has to be bottle fed. Alice made sure everyone played nice.

One year Alice had her triplets in an ice storm- outside even though the barn was right...there. They all died. I thought we were going to lose Alice as well. She stopped eating, hung her head and just gave up.

About a week later, we had 2 other births- one nanny had triplets and decided she just wanted two. The other had twins and decided she just wanted one.

I took the two virtual orphans over to Alice and set them down beside her. Her head came up. She sniffed the babies. She licked the babies. And she started eating.

Alice was easy to milk and loved people- She posed with Alec for many photos and with sunglasses on for t-shirts advertising the little store I used to own-"Grinning Goat Gifts".

When Alice went down I tucked a sleeping bag around her- she was pretty moth-eaten and missing some of her hair, but I know how she feels- I'm old, too. I sat by her side and looked up "life span of Nubian Goats" on my phone.
8-10 years
8-12 years
10-12 years
Alice was 13 going on 14.

So we moved the water dish and food, kept her daughter Lucy in with her for company (Lucy is 11) and made sure she was always tucked in and brought her the kitchen scraps- apple peelings, bread heels, carrots...She ate them all.

She never cried out, never ground her teeth and never seemed distraught.

She just slowed down till she stopped.

I'll miss you, Alice- but can see you in your daughters Lucy and Becca and your son Lazarus- Alec's pet.

Till we meet again, old friend-

When we took our official portraits for work, I let my staff choose who I posed with- overwhelmingly they said "a duck and a goat". I'm so glad I chose Alice.

Deliver Us From Evil

People are afraid of the strangest things.

Actually, people do tend to fear anything strange, different, odd, or otherwise not like themselves.

In the animal kingdom, this means if people are prone to liking creatures besides other humans, the tendency is towards those who are warm-blooded at least, and generally the furry ones elicit more fondness than the feathered ones.

Those without fur or feathers usually need not apply.

So, while dogs and cats top the list of family pets, followed by any number of pocket pets (hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs and whatnot) and birds like cockatiels and parakeets and finches, you need to go far down on the list- sometimes actually off of the list- to find things like snakes, tarantulas, hermit crabs and Madagascar giant hissing cockroaches.

(Yes. People keep Madagascar giant hissing cockroaches as pets- see?)



OK. I'm not a fan of the big bugs, either. Never wanted an ant farm, never been tempted even a tiny bit to get a tarantula, even a pretty one-



But I do love me some reptiles.

Lizards large and small, snakes long and short- In my life as a Veterinary Assistant I've handled and restrained almost anything- the largest snake I ever assisted with was an albino python belonging to a stripper. That one was about 14ft. long nose to toes about like the one in this photo-



...the stripper was substantially shorter, and a fair sight better looking than Steve Erwin.

People can't believe I don't mind working with snakes.

"Aren't they slimy?" No.

"Arent' you afraid that they'll bite you?" Mostly, no.

"Wouldn't you rather work with a cute little kitten?" Oh, not only no, but HELL NO.

See?

Cats are pound for pound the 2nd most dangerous animal to work on.

They can bite, they can claw, they can literally spin around inside their skins to get at you, they hiss, spit and scream like banshees, and if all else fails they are not opposed one bit to peeing or pooping on you. Even the nicest cat leaves a pile of hair in your lap and/or stuck to your clothes anywhere it touches you.

Once you have ahold of any snake properly- right behind the jaws, and are supporting its body so it doesn't feel like it's going to fall, you're golden. They can't bite from there, they have no claws, don't pee or poo in anger, and don't even have fur to shed all over you.

So yes. This is the face of the 2nd most dangerous animal to work on-



What on earth could be the MOST dangerous?

Well, I've worked with dogs, cats, horses, pigs, goats, emus, snakes, pocket pets of all kinds including hedgehogs, birds from finches to macaws, and wild animals from armadillo to zebras and though I've been bitten, kicked, scratched, evacuated on, slammed into walls and damn near drooled to death, only one has left a scar.

Was it the 250 pound pot bellied pig that was anything but miniature and oh so unhappy to be sedated? Nope.

Was it the cayman we were anesthetizing that only SEEMED to be asleep the first dozen times we took off the mask? Nope.

How about the 45 pound raccoon that was found wandering the streets during the day, making him a terrific candidate for distemper? Not a chance. He was just old and didn't even have any teeth left.

Can you stand the suspense?

Give up in guessing?

The Number One Dangerous animal to work on, and the only one to leave me literally scarred for life in almost half a century of working with critters is





Pure. Unadulterated. Evil.