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photo by Sheri Dixon

Monday, December 24, 2012

Of Politics and Powdered Sugar

I love sugar cookies. Hate making 'em. Love eating 'em.

Lest you have visions of perfectly decorated wonders of baked confectionary, lemme put your mind at ease.

We don't have cookie cutters. I use a juice glass to cut out circles. No stars, no Santa's, no bells and no reindeer with ridiculous skinny antlers and legs that always burn before the body is baked.

They get baked, frosted and sprinkled.

My kids have always done the sprinkling.

On accounta they think it's fun and I don't wanna do it. it's a touching holiday tradition that everyone will always remember fondly.

So Alec's been sprinkling cookies since he was about 3.

From age 3 through about age 7, the sprinkles are tapped onto a plate and the cookies placed face-down in them for a second. Otherwise, all the sprinkles are gone after that first cookie.

Yesterday was my designated baking day. I started at 10:30am and finished up about midnight, with a few breaks to feed critters and ourselves interspersed.

I baked pumpkin cake bars, chocolate chip cookie bars, turtle bars...see a pattern here? I love smearing dough into a pan, sticking it in the oven and being DONE in one fell swoop.

About 8pm I could no longer put it off. The sugar cookies awaited.

Valiantly I decided to get out the star shaped cutter...just for fun. I cut out the stars, arranged them on the cookie sheet and popped 'em in the oven.

7 minutes later I took out...what resembled a herd of free-floating amoebas.

I tossed the cookie cutter into the sink and got out the juice glass.

I only burned one batch beyond recognition. I'm pretty sure that's a record for me.

They were all baked and cooled- about 7 dozen of 'em by 11pm.

Rationally, I would've waited till this morning to frost 'em. Realistically, my almost 13 year old son was awake and alert at 11pm. The same would not have been true this morning.

So we decorated.

I frosted and passed 'em to Alec.

I glanced over at him taking great care with the first cookie. Carefully, gently, precisely he placed ONE sugar sprinkle in the center of the cookie.

"Son? What the hell is that???"

"It's minimalist."

"PUT SOME DAMN SPRINKLES ON THE COOKIES!"

(Can you hear the carols in the background?)

A few dozen in, I noticed a cookie with red sprinkles on one side and blue on the other. *sigh*

"Son?"

"It's an ideological statement of the American political system...in cookie form".

This is the same kid who opened his Wednesday night frozen dinner because mom goes to watch a movie with Joe thusly-

"HEY! There used to be 2 enchiladas in these dinners! Now there's only 1! That goddamn Obama!"

He is definitely Ward's son.

Wishing all of you a Christmas filled with weird-ass moments that you can use against your offspring for years to come.

Because that's the Magic of Family.





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