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photo by Sheri Dixon

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Did You Just Pray With That Finger?

I paid especial attention to speed limits today.

Having perhaps to do with the warning ticket the nice state patrol officer handed me yesterday. Perhaps.

Anyway, I was doing the speed limit coming out of Denton on our way home from the Day of the Dead Festival which was last night. We stayed overnight in a hotel rather than try to drive home 3 hours in the dark on a Saturday night. Guess we're just old and stuffy that way nowadays.

So I'm minding my own business, driving 60 in a 60 zone.

Not 55. Not 58. Not 64. 60.

I was, in fact, in the left hand lane.

I was, in fact, talking to my family and didn't notice the 2 cars coming up fast behind me that impatiently shifted lanes to pass me, then return to the left lane.

The first car passed and scooted in front of me.

The second vehicle- a big gas-hog Suburban kind of SUV, was right on the bumper of the first one- almost pushing it in front of itself.

As the first car changed lanes, the SUV did as well, leaving a good inch between its back bumper and my front bumper- the driving equivalent of being shoved in a crowded room ("Oops- sorry- didn't see you there *mean little smirk*")

Just in case I hadn't noticed his gigantic great white shark diving in front of me, the driver's window rolled down and an arm flew out- pointing violently at the right hand lane.

Now, that could've been a helpful friendly reminder to pay better attention and let the SPEEDERS use the left hand lane.

But the driver used his middle finger to do the pointing.

Emphatically, dramatically and oh so exuberantly.

Without thinking, I said, "Bet you a million dollars he just came from church".

The boys chuckled obediently at their radical, cynical mom/wife.

Not five minutes later we were all stopped at a red light.

All, as in us, a mess of other cars AND the SUV that had managed to gain ONE STINKING CAR LENGTH by his expert and tactical driving skills.

We got a better look at the back of the vehicle, and were literally struck silent for a brief moment before exploding into disbelieving laughter.

The license plate was a vanity plate- but one I haven't seen before- a Texas plate alright, but just white with black lettering and 3 crosses prominently displayed on the left hand side of it. The plate letters?

LF4GOD

Seriously. I shit you not.





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